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the blog

thoughts & musings

reading, writing, movies & spiritual growth || messy now stuff || God's presence in our present.

on page twenty one in his book titled God's Pursuit of Man, A.W. Tozer speaks straight to my heart in this exact time of my life. 

let me share with you today so that you, too, might be changed. 

"we would think of God, then, as maintaining the unity of His uncreated being throughout all His works and His years, as saying not only, "I did," and "I will do,"
but also as "I do" and "I am doing." 

"a robust faith requires that we grasp this truth firmly, yet we know how seldom such a thought enters our minds. we habitually stand in our now and look back by faith to see the past filled with God. we look forward and see Him inhabiting our future;  but our now is uninhabited except for ourselves. thus we are guilty of a kind of temporary atheism which leaves us alone in the universe while, for a time, God is not. we talk of Him much and loudly, but we secretly think of Him as being absent, and we think of ourselves as inhabiting a parenthetic interval between the God who was and the God who will be. and we are lonely with an ancient and cosmic loneliness. we are each like a child lost in a crowded market, who has strayed but a few feet from its mother, yet because she cannot be seen the child is inconsolable. so we try by every method devised by religion to relieve our fears and heal our hidden sadness; but with all our efforts we remain unhappy still, with the settled despair of men alone in a vast and deserted universe." 


first of all, i just recently watched you've got mail with a friend. 

it was her first time enjoying this perfect film and i felt like i needed to be there. 

in that film, i love the way they write. 

i love the sound the typing keys make. 

i love when joe fox hits the backspace button in that funny way. 

i love the word choices of the writers. and the delivery by the actors. 


and this book, i love who A.W. Tozer is. 

i love the way he writes. 


i want to be a writer. 

one day i will be. 


but i want to learn what it means to put words together like this. 

in such a beautiful way. 

i wish my husband would write instead of me. 

he's got the gift. 

i fumble every line. 

but i'm so thankful for the journey. 

new writing, new authors are taking me to new places in my faith and in my writing. 

i am thrilled for this new love of reading and writing. 

words like 'Thither, Mischance, Felicity' ;)


now,  back to Tozer. 


it's important the way we think and live our lives. 

the way we think on a day to day will most definitely color the way our lives shape out. 

it's important to know who God is when we claim to believe in Him and follow Him. 

i am guilty of being so dramatic in my now

 always being able to remember God then and hope of Him in the future. 

but my now is a mess. and He's not here with me. 


what a load of junk that is! 

how small is that faith, too. 

how beautiful it is to get to know the truth about God. 

how it changes the soul and brings forth new life! 


glory to God! 


i love the way he writes me as an atheist. 

how harsh does that sound when you're a christian!?

what's the first thing we want to do if someone says that?

defend it! grab our bible and say no no no,  I BELIEVE. 

like as if we admit that we have unbelief for a moment we'll go straight to hell. 

but turns out God already knows our hearts and we do have moments of unbelief. 


i love harsh teaching. 

the bible has harsh teaching. 

my husband has harsh teaching. 

my true friends have harsh teaching. 

it's all true. every bit of it. 

and it's so good to be rubbed the wrong way when taught something true because then it will work out in you and you will be refined. 

the best character is made out of rough and tumble hard work. 

some more Tozer : 

"but for all our fears we are not alone. our trouble is that we think of ourselves as being alone.

let us correct the error by thinking of ourselves as standing by the bank of a full flowing river; then let us think of that river 

as being none else but God Himself. we glance to our left and see the river coming full out of our past; we look to the right and see if flowing on into our future. but we see also it is flowing through our present. and in our today it is the same as it was in our yesterday, not less than, nor different from, but the very same river, one unbroken continuum, undiminished, active and strong as it moves sovereignly on into our tomorrow."  

and more still :

"wherever faith has been original, wherever it has proved itself to be real, it has invariably had upon it a sense of the present God. the holy Scriptures possess in marked degree this feeling of actual encounter with a real Person. the men and women of the Bible talked with God. they spoke to Him and heard Him speak in words they could understand. with Him they held person-to-person interaction, and a sense of shining reality is upon their words and deeds."

i  believe fully we can still have this experience today. 

just like moses did. and sarah. and abram. and david. 

i have heard God speak to me in words i can understand. 
but i look away too often. and stop hearing. 

i want to look at my feet and see the river flowing in my present. 

with the presence of God. 

He is the river. 

my God is their same God. 

how cool is that!? 

i love bible stories. 

i love His greatness through the ages. 

He is mine as He was theirs. 

He is knowable. 

in our now. 

and not only look for Him or see Him in the past and future. 

the now doesn't have to be such a dramatic struggle. 
even if it is something really really difficult. 

the now can be the good stuff, too. 
the stuff and the life that's full of God's personal presence in our present. 

i am not alone. 

i will not think of myself as alone.  

His river of Life runs through my soul. 

then. now. and forevermore.