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the blog

thoughts & musings

being a powerful wife || california dreaming || love burt living

every morning in california was like this one. 

it was completely magical. 
also, my new favorite word is magical because the darling woman whose
house we stayed at says it often and it warmed my heart each time. 
so when i use it now it's like a reminder of her and our time there. 

so we stayed with these amazing friends and every morning they had responsibilities
like work and taking the littles to school so ethan and i slept until 11am or later
because we're bums and then went out on their patio in our jammies for coffee. 

the last morning we stayed there ethan got up earlier than me, 
which you dear readers know is strange for this sloth husbo of mine. 
he got up early and made the coffee. he left a mug out for me and went out to read. 
i came down to the kitchen and went straight for the java. 
i saw the mug and smiled. 
i went outside to join ethan and said "i love this mug! look how cute!"
to which he responded "i know. that's why i picked it"

marriage is beautiful. 
sometimes it's hard to think of the other person.
but sometimes it's really really easy. 

simple things like picking out a mug at someone else's home, just to use one time,
just for me, because it has my colors and cute words on it. like, OK. i'll marry you again. 

i was thinking about twenty years from now.
and it made me realize just how much power i have as a wife. 
i have this incredible mighty power that will shape the rest of my husband's life. 

what if i didn't greet him at the door every time he came home?
with a smile and a kiss. or hug. or silly smack on the tush.
or all the above. 
what if i didn't allow him his quiet time and i just pestered him all the live long day?
what if i thought what he loved was stupid or that his hobbies were childish?
what if i didn't encourage his dreams?
what if i stopped being playful and happy with him?
what if i held on to all the things that drive me crazy about him instead of forgiving easily?

who would this man become?

my heart wants to see this man thrive.
to live a full, beautiful life. 
i want him to feel like he is strong, loved, respected, trusted and necessary. 
i do not want him to feel like a failure, ever. 
i want to challenge him but not nag him. 
i want him to chase his dreams and look at me to see cheering and clapping. 

a lot of who ethan is and who he will be is wrapped up in me. 
that's a lot of responsibility. 

i love this feeling. 
i also am terrified. 
like, i could really screw him up! 

i woke up yesterday thinking holy crap. this man chose me. 
i am so lucky. 

marriage is such a gift. 
i remember my first blogging days. 
i was so anxious to share about this joyful married life. this love burt living. 
i had been married for maybe four months when i started blogging back in 2010. 
i can vividly remember taking photos of banana bread and posting them and talking about the day. i also remember crying later because the banana bread sucked and my husband also told me that he doesn't even really like banana bread. so, there was that. 

since then i have mostly perfected my banana bread and e loves it. no lie!
also he likes my pot roast and meatloaf. so, winning at wife life. 

he still dislikes my very favorite dress, so we're not at 100% perfect marriage status yet.

i want to wake up every day with a joyful song in my heart to make my marriage great. 
things change in an instant. the songs are true. 
life is too short, love is so sweet. 
there just really is no time at all to waste. 
who knows if i'll get to live a long, healthy married life with ethan. 
none of us know what is written for us. 
but i do know that i will make every single breath count. 
and my husband will know how great i think he is. 
i've had nearly six wonderful, perfectly magical married years. 
i'm amazed. and thankful for my gift.