the blog

the blog

thoughts & musings

jack truman burt | love burt baby

our sweet boy jack truman was born on september seventh!
this also happens to be my birthday. which i did not care about at the time because OUCH, but now that time has passed i think it’s pretty darn cool to share a birthday with our little love.

he’s a boy! what a surprise!
we did not find out the gender of this babe and it was so much fun not knowing.
i did have a moment at 35 weeks pregnant where i told ethan it was a boy.
but then the next day i had another dream it was a girl. so i questioned my heart.
something in me still thought maybe. just maybe it’s a him.

i was still very surprised to meet him!
i mean, i’d never met my baby before. i got to grow him but there was so much mystery until he came out and i could see him!

i went into labor around four in the morning on september sixth.
i progressed really quickly and very much enjoyed much of the laboring process!
we were so excited to FINALLY be having this baby. he stayed put for 41 weeks and 5 days.
i woke ethan up and told him it’s labor! and we both got so excited.
we slept a little longer and then got up for the day around eight am.
we texted our midwife and she was already in prayer for us because she felt a nudge that i was in labor! this was so special to me!

we labored at home and everything was going so well that we expected to have the baby at home by dinner time! this excited us because we wanted good lighting and had the gopro set up.
always loving the good lighting. we can’t help it!

we labored around our home. it was magical.
i took walks around the kitchen island. swayed while ethan held me.
our bed is on the floor and it’s memory foam so super comfy material and i had a padded yoga mat on the floor next to the bed so i could go back and forth between positions more comfortably. our midwife would check on us from time to time and would check on me and told me i was doing so great. i felt like this was true. i was so happy to be experiencing this!
labor got more intense and i wanted the birthing pool so they set that up in record time and i was in the hot water in minutes.

really, i couldn’t ask for a better beginning of labor story.
it got much worse after this. but i am holding on to those sweet hours.

we did not have baby by dinner time. i was becoming discouraged as the sun went down.
i wasn’t able to eat anything and even drinking water would make me throw up.
i was becoming increasingly exhausted and weak and dizzy.
my midwife checked me and i was 10 centimeters.
we started pushing.

i pushed for i think literally ever, and nothing was happening. baby wasn’t coming.
we did this for hours. it was now the next morning.

something felt wrong. i had never had a baby before but i did think that after all of this, there should be a baby coming out by now. we couldn’t tell exactly what was going on by checking me and ethan and i had a tough decision to make. keep going like this or head to the hospital.

it was now around five in the morning on the seventh.
we exchanged looks and we both knew. it was time to go.
it was pouring down rain, naturally.
also we didn’t have a bag packed at all.
i had packed a bag a few weeks earlier but then unpacked so i could feel settled and comfortable and trusting in the home birth process.

so now i was in super labor and ethan had to scramble around to get us ready.
it was kind of awful. but ethan did an amazing job.
i tried to use words to help me locate things but really i just said a prayer that we wouldn’t leave anything out and that he would at least remember to pack our toothbrushes. he did!

our midwife drove us to the hospital.
i couldn’t sit down so i had to squat and hold myself up on the seat in front of me for 45 minutes.
i prayed that i would just deliver the baby in the van and we could go back home.
no such luck.
i had ethan call ahead and ask for immediate help when we arrived.
i was scared.
ethan hated that i didn’t have a seat belt on.
i tired but i had a baby in my birth canal and couldn’t even.

we arrived at the hospital.
now 41 weeks and 6 days pregnant.
it was nearly seven am.
we were dropped off at the emergency room.
i got out of the van, somehow my legs still worked.
ethan was trying to rush us inside but i paused.
i grabbed his hand and we prayed outloud.
we just said anything and everything.
we asked God to protect this baby and me.
we asked God for amazing care providers.
we asked God to keep ethan’s strength up.
we asked God to just be near.
He was so present.
the tears flowed.

immediately we were beautifully taken care of.
nice humans surrounded us. i was wheeled up to labor and delivery where we met an angel of a nurse. we quickly gave her a recap and then i got an epidural.
it took the gal three tries. that was not pleasant.
i don’t think i would do an epidural again just because of that.
but i needed it at this point. i then got two hours of sleep. glory.
after those two hours our angel nurse came back in and i started to push.

another two hours of pushing and nothing.
my body was going back and forth with these crazy weird contractions.
one would be a full pushing and delivery type of contraction and then the next would be super whimpy. i wouldn’t feel a contraction and then all of a sudden i would and would feel like pushing.

after another two hours of this the doctor came in to check me while having a contraction.
he felt the baby’s face instead of head. baby was trying to come out cheek first.
he told me we could try the vacuum or i could have a c-section.
we decided c-section.

again, amazing humans.
everyone took such sweet care of us.
they were helpful and clear with direction with ethan and they were loving and caring with me and my body and our baby’s safety.

i remember crying joy tears and thanking everyone who helped us along the way.
i wanted to meet everyone, i repeated their names back to them and held their hands.
i loved touching the hands of the people who helped us.
i thanked God for them all and said prayers the entire time.

sweet baby came out at 3:10pm on september seventh.
9lbs 8oz.
21 inches long.
beyond perfect.

the doctor let ethan see and tell me we had a boy!
ethan immediately said he had my philtrum. which made me laugh.
(ethan loves my philtrum. if you don’t know what that is because i didn’t until ethan loved mine and i had to google what it was, it’s the part between the top lip and the nose.
he has strange likes).

they immediately let us have our baby! they put him on my chest and ethan came close.
we just cried. ethan held it together because he would have loudly wept. he’s not a quiet cryer when he gets going. he would’ve shaken the whole hospital.
it was everything to see him hold it together but want to burst over our son.
i will never forget that moment as long as i live.

we saw him and knew he would be jack truman.
this was the only name we had ready for a boy and it fit as soon as we met him.
thankfully! i didn’t want to meet him and have to come up with a new name! ha.

jack truman burt.
jack means God is gracious. truman means loyal.
also, it’s just an awesome name. if you ask us!
it did take us months to settle on the boy name. we have a girl name ready and agreed ten thousand percent. but jack’s first and middle took a while longer.

the nurses took jack to clean him up and do the things.
they told ethan he could go be with jack. and i said, oh yeah! you can go to him.
while i was being worked on still.
but ethan said no. he told me i am first priority.
more weeping.

i had that giant curtain covering all my belly stuff (blessing)
but if i moved it slightly i could see jack!
this was a joyous discovery for me.
i was watching my baby boy over there!
he was perfect.
this part i remember the most clearly.
we just looked at each other and then i would look at jack exclaim things about him.
”he’s so long!”
”he’s so perfect!”
”he’s a boy?! how is he a boy! he’s so beautiful”
and i just cried and ethan cried and everyone in the room rejoiced with us.
the doctor told us he was trying to concentrate on his work but was getting weepy. his voice was cracked when he said that. he said we were blessing him with our joy.
i kept crying and the doctor would check to make sure it was joy tears and not pain tears.
i felt nothing but pure bliss and magic and thankfulness and joy.
our nurses cried, too.
it was one of the happiest moments of my entire life.
jack was so beautiful. he was here. finally.
he was ours.
God gifted us.

it feels so undeserved. and so appreciated.
so wanted.

ethan kept holding my head and forehead and hair in his hands.
we kept eyes on each other and on our new son.
he told me he was so happy he is a boy.

the days and nights following would be some of our hardest ever.
but that’s for another post.
this is just the one about the perfect birth of our surprise baby.
joy fills our souls.
jack is here!