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seven years || november 30th || love burt living

november 30th is the most significant day in the year for both of us. 
it is the day that our lives, our whole world, changed. it is our day. 

it was so cold. unseasonably cold that night. the night we met seven years ago. 
i had no idea i would meet him. my him. that evening i was being pretty ungrateful that whole day. i remember changing my outfit three times before heading to danville for class. i was switching classes that night and would soon find out i would be meeting ethan and my new class and teacher. and doing nursing home clinicals with him for the next two weeks. and then marrying him 6 months later. all i could think about after he started talking to me was, i am so glad i put real pants on. two of my other outfits included huge ugly sweats. i wore jeans and a grey tee shirt with a wonderful fuzzy black sweater. plus a coat. ethan was wearing his officemax uniform and an oversized black zip up hoodie. we still have that hoodie and i wear it in our home. 

one day i want to write out our full story. his side and mine. i never want to forget. 
there's so much more to say of this day. the reason we celebrate it. 

but for now, fast forward to yesterday. seven years.

this year has been a lot. more work, less time together, more spiritual growth and cutting away at wrong comforts and sinful desires. so we actually fasted from dating. we found that we filled our time up with each other only and haven't been serving or giving. just taking. and enjoying. we know married life is a gift and is to be enjoyed but we have been terribly gluttonous. whenever we hurt (which is daily because of our chronic pain/health issues), whenever we make more money, whenever we are just bored, whenever we feel like we deserve a break, we would date. we felt very convicted about this and we made a change. and it was very difficult. but we knew it was right. and we've been finding ways to serve or bless or grow spiritually because of the time we now had.

so we searched our hearts and prayed about dates and how we can celebrate married time together and when. and how often. and how much we could spend on ourselves. 

ethan also works three days a week outside the home now. we used to just have more time during the day/week because we were both full time BURTco. but now we're full time with bco. and he's part time health food store. we don't feel like it's a mistake to add more to our plate, but we have had to learn the balance.

i didn't want to get my hopes up for this wednesday. it's mid week. we have more and more plates to juggle. if ethan has taught me one thing in life it's to celebrate ALWAYS. not waiting for certain days. we don't do birthdays or christmas presents or valentines day or anniversary gifts. none of that. it has been the most beneficial thing in our marriage i am sure of it. so i knew not to get disheartened if we couldn't spend the day together. i did not expect him to take the day off the health food store. i didn't ask him to. and even booked a few things for myself to get done that morning. but late on sunday night he told me he's taking our day off and we are having a date. i had to immediately manage expectations and guard my heart! just simply being thankful he took the day, no matter what we do that day, is enough. 

and oh, what a day it was. i want to remember forever. 
all the days, actually. photo taking and writing memories forever, please. 

 

what a ridiculously perfect day. 
it was much warmer yesterday then that day just seven years ago. 

he first took me to traders pointe creamery, the loft restaurant. it's in indiana.
IT'S A WHOLE FREAKING FARM WITH REAL COWS.
AND WE GOT A MILKSHAKE!!!! i haven't had a milkshake in YEARS.
it still had sugar and that's a no-no BUT, celebrations. and happy cows and organic ingredients. 
ALL THE THANKSGIVING. 
they also had a lemon orzo chicken soup that was out of this world. 

after lunch we just wanted to walk about a bit. who knew there is a walking tour of the farm! so perfect. so we went on that trail. it did start to get colder and colder and we took a wrong way somehow and i got really terrified we'd either end up right in a cow paddock and die or at least get in trouble with the owners. ethan is such a rebel. but he's also safe. and so he told me to just trust him and he'd get us back. which he did. 

we ran a little ways on the trail and it was like a movie. ethan was a little bit ahead of me looking back with the most sweet face ever, enjoying seeing me. also, dumb silly faces, too. and then we stopped and he asked, have we ever gone on a run together? no. let's never do that again. 
PHEW. i'm with you. never running. 

the food and atmosphere was amazing there and we dreamed about BURTco. 
we dreamed about where it'll go, God willing, what parts we will play, what a joy this is. 
we also admired the amazing wood beams from the 1860's that the restaurant is built out of. 
i also said holy cow a lot and made myself laugh. no one else laughed. 


next, coffee & books. 

e is so good. he found us a coffee place with amazing bread and books. 
they have books all over the place on these really cool shelves. they encourage you to just grab one a read. UM OK. and they have a super simple coffee menu. so we grabbed just coffees and sat together on these old burnt orange chairs. ethan had to do something on his phone that he said would take 60 seconds, so i went to look at books. within 20 of those seconds i came back with four books. he laughed out loud at me. how do you do that, he asked. and smiled big. i love his eyes when he smiles. when we met he did not have those smiling eyes. and now it is a permanent part of his face that i love.

we talked about how this could be so boring to others. or we could even decide that it wasn't enough and we need more, need to do more than this. but this is just it for us. i will never get tired of sitting next to him with a cup of coffee and a book. i know it's true.
and last night while he tucked me into our bed, i cried a few tears about not knowing when it'll be the last time i sit with him with coffee and a book. this is enough.

when we were ordering our coffee the woman motioned to the coffee mugs. we get to take our pick. the options were the dark blue and teal you see here, and red. ethan looked at me and then touched a couple mugs, then picked the correct teal one for me. he has gotten to know how i pick by feel. it makes no sense and it's just a mug, but it was the best moment ever that he got the right one. the exact one i was thinking. and then i knew he'd pick the dark blue. the coffee was great. we each had two cups. and i got an oatmeal cranberry cookie, his least favorite. and he got chocolate chip. he shared with me but would never eat a cranberry again, so i basically got two cookies. which is FINE BY ME. i did not do that on purpose probably. 

then we went to the mall and walked around. we weren't planning on shopping but h&m is my favorite store and we don't get to be around one super often. so ethan let us go in! AHHHHH.
ethan is all about good deals. he found 11 dresses he said he would love to see me in, but we couldn't stand the price. so we kept looking at the sale items. we found amazing green pants for 15 dollars and a plain sweatshirt for 9 dollars. tried them on, perfect fit. badda bing badda boom.
i got that outfit. THANKS. ugh. h&m and ethan burt are the BEST.

we walked around outside the mall, too. enjoying the brisk fall evening air. 
we also took in a movie but we were not impressed. so i'm glad he got the tickets at a bargain. 

i had no idea what this year would bring. personally, emotionally, physically. 
i have no idea what to expect for next year. but i am thankful for the years we've had. 
i'm thankful for this time together. the warmth of our bodies close. his smell. his beard. his hugs. his hands. his laughter. his wild ideas. breathing in every moment we are given. 

happy seven, e. i'll love ya till the day i die. 

tags: dating, loveburtliving, love intensely, anniversary
categories: anniversary, fasting, marriage
Thursday 12.01.16
Posted by bethany burt
 

money || hashtag blessed || bethany burt || conviction

i started writing this over a year ago. 
i know this because my online journal keeps track of the date. and it says april 4, 2015. 

this means i've been ignoring this for a whole year. 

it's time to get out of my comfort zone again. i've become too comfortable. 

i used to be a really big spender. you know, when i had my parent's money. 
then i married ethan burt. 

i didn't know how it was going to go for a while there. he would tell me no and i thought that was really cute. but then i realized he really meant it. and turns out, it and he has been the best thing for me. i've learned so much over the last six years. mostly i've learned a lot about my flaws. it's been a challenge to change, but really a welcome one. when i grow and change for the better, i become more attractive to my husband. i find that to be very enjoyable. and i feel better about myself as well. i've become a lot less worried about outward things, and far more interested in the inward. 

but then i get back into my comfort zone. i think it's okay to eat brownies and ice cream every single day for a few months and then feel awful about myself and remember how long it takes to work off sugar after the age of twenty-five. and i go back to my old spending habits and think i deserve it and then i'm sad that we can't afford to help people or buy more things i want. 

i live in this really weird in between world. it's weird living this american dream. i feel so convicted about it. i don't feel called to sell all i own and move to a foreign country. but i know i am not called to just enjoy and get more for myself. keep building my own walls up and never go outside and help others. i only ever help someone else if i'm already taken care of fully myself. i never give until it hurts. i stop way before then. is it okay to want a new kitchen? sure. maybe? is it okay to buy the brand new car with the hefty monthly payment because it's the newest, bestest and prettiest? i don't know. probably not? is it okay to purchase more clothes for myself and still complain about my life on a daily basis? is it okay to just stay in my rich life and never learn about the way other people live? is it okay to just keep getting for me and living up this hashtag blessed little life that i get to live?

i just don't know, you guys. 
i don't know where the line is. i don't know. but, i do know that for where i'm at right now in my heart, i need a change. 

i really desire more for myself than other people right now. 
i complain about my life and i worry about myself too much. 
i want. and i want. 
and i don't know what my neighbor needs. 

a friend and i have decided to not spend money for one year. 
and that very same day i went out and bought forty dollars worth of new work-out clothes. 
because all of my leggings have rips in them. because of the brownies. 

it's really difficult to not spend money. but i think that's because we've gotten ourselves into this ridiculous mess that we really fool ourselves into thinking we really need something. like a gas station soda or a large latte from the coffee shop. or the new yoga clothes. or the meal at the restaurant instead of the cheaper one we could make at home. or the new kitchen tile because the old stuff is super ugly. like, you guys, i care so much about my ugly kitchen. 

when i think that the "tiny amount of money" spent on me purchasing a large latte for myself wouldn't actually even help anyone else in my community or another country, i've become part of the problem. because then if that tiny amount of money wouldn't even help, then also the money for dinner out and over priced drinks out and celebration weekends away also won't help. so i might as well just spend that money and not send it anywhere. not use my time or my money anywhere. except for on me. 

we obviously have to buy food and pay our bills. but what about all the extras? and how much of our bills are actually the extras? i just want to consider everything. i want to be intentional about every single thing. i used to hate people like me, and now i am one of them. i put full blame on ethan b. he knows it, and he's so proud. i'm proud too. i love what how he is, and i love how he plays a role in changing me for the better. i would love to say that we think of other's first and tell you the good places our money is going. but i'm battling my self and it's going to take time. 

i have no idea how i feel about this right now except i want to know if i can budget some brownies and ice cream into this year of no spending? 

i am so excited to work through this. i probably stopped writing this one year ago because it was a mess and didn't make sense and i wasn't sure how i felt about it. and i wanted to be a writer that made sense and had prettier sentences and was careful enough to make sure everyone understands just what i mean and then no one would ever be upset and no feathers would ever be ruffled. but i am one year older now and i'm less worried about the mess. i'm willing to share it. and embrace it myself. this is the weird confusion and raw emotions of how i'm feeling right now. this will be a journey. and i won't sugar coat it. because sugar is the real problem.
that delicious jerk. 

so i'll keep y'all posted. 
for now, have any of you fasted from spending? how did it go? did you blog about it?
because i would love to read your words about it. 

xo,
bb. 

why does buying new shoes always feel so right? 

why does buying new shoes always feel so right? 

tags: my heart, my life and my song, real life, struggles, spiritual growth
categories: at home with bb, fasting, 7, the hard stuff
Tuesday 04.12.16
Posted by bethany burt
Comments: 6
 

sugar detox day three || plusalso just summertime happiness || this love burt living.

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lunch today makes me happy.  

and i am still enjoying a wee bit of milk in my coffee. iced variety because of the hot sunny days.  

lunch today is leftover chicken fajitas on a plate, no tortilla. and lettuce wedge and lemon. and lemon water. 

i feel great. my workouts are easier and i'm not as frumpy feeling.  

probably cinnamon rolls make me feel my most frumpy. but also happy. it's a battle.  

yesterday i answered emails and booked with a few awesome people and drank coffee on my bed and read some of my coffee talk book. 

i'm reading one chapter a day. it's really good. my friends mama wrote it and she sent it to me as a gift. God told her i needed it and He was right and she was good to obey that call. and now i'm blessed in my soul from it. and her! 

and at night i've started to ask God what time He wants me up in the morning so i can be with Him and start my day. i have been up before my alarm and complain for a few sleepy selfish moments and then i am so thankful i get up. it's been incredibly intimate and perfect each new day.  

then i make breakfast for me and husband. and my heart sings with gladness because i have this man to prepare food for. and then he wakes up and is so irresistibly cute. 

i've also been enjoying my one pair of jean shorts. and all the tank tops. coming into summer time always feels wrong like "i need more clothes on!" monkey hiding his eyes emoji. because i wear so many layers and love colder weather. i always have to make sure i do actually have pants on before i leave the house in the summertime. 

so far, so good. i even had a cappuccino today from mad goat and that puts me at 8g of sugar for today. 

2g bread at breakfast  

5g from coffee beverage  

1 gram from dollop of sour cream with lunch.  

nailing it!  

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tags: God is good, fed up, diy, lemon water, joyful, brave, i love food, healthy, married life, home, being known by God, imperfections, empowering women, coffee, business owning, act of worship, husband and wife, my life and my song, coffee dates, benefits of lemon, loveburtliving
categories: sugar detox, fasting
Thursday 05.28.15
Posted by bethany burt
 

currently || bethany burt || random stuffs || my life & my song.

currently sitting on my bed enjoying the second best cup of coffee of the day. 

currently enjoying my new to me pillow sham that cost me 1 dollar at goodwill. i got two for a dollar and i'm in love. i asked ethan if he liked it. he said no. i said but you love my 70's hair and this pillow style is 70's. his response was not everything from the 70's should come back. 

also, currently enjoying my newest pair of jamma pants. they are from old navy. 
i understand they are not one of my 7 but it's still a wee cold in the house and i don't want to sleep in jeans. so i wear this pair of pants to bed. they are the best and they tighten up at the ankles like i've always wanted. 

i'm currently rocking out 7. it's not even that hard. i have basically just worn the jeans and coffee tank every.day. except for the fact that for our cousin's wedding yesterday i tried to wear heels and ethan called me out. to which i had a full on tantrum that ended in me throwing the heels off my feet and at the corner of the shoe area in the front of the house.
real mature, guys. 
i apologized to ethan and felt like a real piece. i promise.
and i wore flats that did not match my dress. so, there. 7 approved. 

currently playing the DC deck building game like every day or every other with ethan. 
i'm about ready to go pro. when i can beat ethan, i feel really accomplished.
and i just beat him by ONE POINT today. GUYS! victory is sweet.

currently reading so many books. 
ayn rand - the fountainhead. 
i read this out loud with ethan. it's been a real treat. 
it is way less cheesy and a lot more fun to read books out loud with your spouse than i ever thought possible. 

john stott - the radical disciple. 
so simple. so true. so stunning. so easy. i just keep reading it. 

n.t. wright - matthew (together with ethan) and james,peter,john&judah on my own. 
we have the entire new testament. so we'll be camping out with n.t for a while! we lurve him. 
we cannot get through reading n.t without crying. i want to give him our money. 

scot mcknight - king jesus gospel
this book. is. rocking my world. 
ethan read it and loved it and requires it as a life reading for all peoples. so i'm on chapter 3. 

jen hatmaker - 7.
but not really. experiencing it and not rereading it. 
experiencing it is way way cool. and challenging. 

and savor by shauna niequist. daily devotional. girl rocks. 

currently meeting new friends and loving it. 

currently feeling really encouraged and empowered to do what i'm supposed to do. 
God is so good. 

cat has been very cute lately. that is no surprise. 

i am now positive that i believe in pedicures. 
especially when my mama pays for them. 
i've had the same adorable red toes for two months. that is freaking neat. 

currently counting down the days til CHICAGO!! 
c & d & i are going to the rooted conference. and i'm like WHAT WHAT. 
ethan got us a great deal on a hotel because he's a wizard. we girls are going to date and eat the food and be girl friends and learn a lot and meet jen hatmaker and become best friends. obviously. 
and i cannot wait. a full weekend away with just my two closest. that will be such a delight. 
it's never happened. i feel like it will be grand. 

currently loving the emails and blog messages and IG posts from people. 
either just saying hello, new friend, asking a question, wanting to get to know each other better, wanting marriage advice, or business advice, or photography advice. it's helping me dig deeper to have the correct answers. and it's so great to have something to offer. 
it's so so fun to connect with people. 

i jammed my middle finger on my married hand. 
i have no idea how in the world i did that. i just woke up with a swollen middle finger and it hurts mega bad news. i had to take advil and suck it up. but i'm not doing a great job. 
so we got a finger splint? and that's helping. but then i take it off and forget and try to pop my knuckles. OOPS. oy vey. 
and i had to take my wedding ring off. which i never do ever. not even for dishes or lotion or anything other reason most girls take theirs off. i haven't had mine off for longer than 2 minutes in 5 years. so this is weird. i think it will probably be OK tho. 

one more - currently LOVING ethan burt's long hair. hubba. 
also, i almost forgot his middle name the other day because a friend asked and i always just call him "ethan burt" so i was like.. idunno. oh, patrick. there it is. 









tags: Cat the cat, jen hatmaker, rooted, chicago, conference, friends, loveburtliving, home, wife life
categories: 7, fasting, at home with bb, imperfections, friendship
Sunday 05.03.15
Posted by bethany burt
Comments: 2
 

7 || month two : clothes || bethany burt || fasting || less is more || more Jesus please

food month is over. 
SO. HAPPY. 

so we're eating all the food again and now it's time to only wear 7 clothes. 
minus the unders. 

these are my 7. 

we are on day 4. 
i thought this was so easy at first and i was pretty convinced that it was already day 7. 
turns out it's been four days. 
so there's that. 

things i'm already realizing : 

1. i only picked two shirts. 
2. i'm already stupid mad that i only picked two shirts. 
also, 3. i need a sweater because i'm always cold. 
and i picked the wrong sweater. 
4. i didn't included jam's or sweatshirts to wear around the house. 
can i even wear socks? does that count as underclothes? 
oy vey. 
already kinda failing but i'm just going to stay positive and commit to 
these 7 and try not to over do it with the pj's and sweatshirts. 
i'm doing blankets at the house because it's still cold out, guys. 
and then i'm wearing the same pj's each night. 
OKAY. 


ethan is not doing this one with me because he already only wears like 4 things. 
so he's good. 
and he's already being very helpful to me. 

"hey, um. can i wear this instead tho?"
"no. you cannot." 

see? 
helpful. 

so let me explain my seven. 

it took me a long time and i was very silly obsessed with what my choices would be. 
because it's difficult! 

i'm a professional who somewhat some of the time dresses like it. 
so i'm like how many weddings do we have coming up?
so, black dress explained. 
then i'm like it's still cold so shorts will need leggings. 
explains green shorts and floral leggings. 
then the jeans. 
obviously. 
and now to the shirts. 
coffee tank.
grey tee. 
okay. so the coffee tank i also wear a cami under it because i'm not a floozy. 
and the grey tee is so freaking comfortable and feels like jammies. 
but then if i wear the grey tee and i'm cold, the grey sweater looks bad. oy vey. 
but it looks great with the coffee tank. so that's fine. 

so after i finally got my 7 picked, i posted this photograph on IG. 
and then chelsea's like "you're not going to wear shoes?"
she is snotty and ruins everything. 

UM. CRAP. 7 total including shoes!?
no. i decided that was stupid and i'm allowing 1 pair flats and 1 pair boots depending on weather. 
that's it. 
i've read the book people. and i'm still so lazy i haven't even checked to refresh about it all. 
it's OK. 

so day 4. 
i haven't even worn the leggings or shorts. 
so really i could probably wear jeans for 14 days. 
(we switched from one month to two weeks. group decision and i didn't argue)
and i should've done another shirt. 
because now both my shirts are in the wash because i'm lazy and so i'm currently wearing a tank that isn't 7 approved until the dryer buzzes. 
it's been COLD still. so i'm like what the heck. 
i have new jean shorts from target and a romper from old navy. 
i look at the romper every day and will wear it on day 15. glory! 

so far this has not been super difficult. 
the people i'm around don't really care what i wear. 
and i will promise to go through all our clothes and get rid of things. 
i already know i am taking the bags of clothes to foster's closet in danville. 
and i will pray over the clothes to bless the kids/families who may need them. 
and i'll also try to bring some kids home to foster. 
(i know that's not how it works)

so far this one is my favorite.
i knew it would be, i was looking forward to this one the most. 
you know how i felt about the food month. 

clothes have been a problem for me my whole life. 
my parents provided for us but i was always jealous when my friends would get EIGHT new pairs of silver jeans for christmas and i got a bible or something. christians. 
jokes. mostly. 
but really, i have always loved getting and getting and getting. 
who doesn't, right?
but as an adult, marrying the amazing man i married, and finally listening to the convictions the HG was placing on me, i realized just how terrible my obsession was. 
it was (is) an idol. 

and so, my heart is open and i am ready to receive what God has for me these next two weeks. 
i know He will reveal more ugliness in my heart that is separating me from Him. 

as i seek worldly cuteness and more clothes, i am further and further away from delighting myself fully in my Savior. i am missing out. so as i wear only 7 pieces of clothing, i pray that i will replace my old habits and thoughts about appearance and more adorable floral prints, with new thoughts of my gracious heavenly Father and the beauty He has planned for my life and relationship with Him. 


tags: bethany burt, business owning, wedding photographer, seven, God is good, jesus, fasting
categories: fasting, 7, God, imperfections
Tuesday 04.28.15
Posted by bethany burt
 

7 || whatever day it is (attitude) || i miss food || and sometimes i cheat

so this food month is no joke, folks. 

i will tell you though that ethan burt is my hero and he made us a whole chicken 
in the crock pot and that has been feeding us for days and he's the best and it tastes glorious. 
i still have a least two more meals with that one chicken. 

and i kept the bones. 
because i read you can make broth with the bones. 
and that one hundred percent freaks me out. 
ethan bagged them up and they are scaring me in my fridge. 

so tonight i kind of got us back on track. 
leftover chicken with the natural juices that make everything taste heavenly
with sweet potatoes and regular potatoes. 
that's it. 
but it was so good. 

i really have been thinking about how i can justify the times i've messed up this month so far and cheated on 7. but really, there isn't any excuse. 
laziness. 
selfish desire.
on the go. 
someone else paid. 
just not giving a crap and wanting a brownie. because that happened. a few times. 

i also just want to point out that i wasn't even excited about the food month. 
i am excited about the other months. 
so i've been really terrible at the discipline for this food month. 

a banana counts as an apple, right? SURE. 
no one from my 7 group saw me buy that pizza, so. obviously it's OKAY. 

grace. 
show me grace. 

i do absolutely love chelsea for sending me this perfect joey photo over the weekend. 
i was stuffing my face with wedding reception food WHILE I WAS WORKING BECAUSE I GET HUNGRY WHEN I PHOTOGRAPH FOR EIGHT HOURS. I WORK HARD.
I DESERVE IT. AND OTHER SELFISH BULL TO SAY.
 
but people, it was meatballs AND pulled pork. SO I HAD TO.

this is month one and it happens to be food. 
and food is winning. 
turns out my will power is puny. 
i am ashamed. 
i have six more months of fasting from SOMETHING and i'm failing big time because
FOOD WINS. 

you know what i am doing tonight? 
i'm so full of energy after small group that i came home and cleaned my entire kitchen
and started on laundry. i also filled two bags of clothes to take to foster's closet this week. 
 i'm doing some of the other things we're supposed to do later in the months, now, so it's okay to eat the peanut butter filled pretzels, right? PLEASE. I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSON. 

insert rolling eyes & punching myself in the face. 
goodnight. 

tags: seven, fasting, i love food, i suck, also friends quote
categories: fasting, 7, imperfections
Monday 04.20.15
Posted by bethany burt
 

i cheated on day 5 || 7. month one : food || oops.

my favorite place to eat in  champaign.   dublin o'neil's

my favorite place to eat in champaign. dublin o'neil's

here's what happened. 

danielle and i planned a date night BEFORE 7 happened to my life. 
OK. 
BEFORE. 

i prayed about it. 
i desperately wanted to eat a pub burger. 
then i thought.. no i should honor 7. 
and blah blah blah. 

and then i was like no. 
i'm going to get the chicken pot pie and gouda mac n cheese and not even feel bad about it.

and that's exactly what i did. 
insert giant smile face here. 

danielle is on whole30 and she did a good job, mostly, of sticking with her diet. 
she did have the mac n cheese. 
and probably two bites in she said "WORTH IT" 
and we laughed and laughed. 

this night was so good for my soul. 
and the other best thing that happened was 
after dinner we were trying to figure out what to do next.
we couldn't go to a bar and get a drink and
we couldn't go to starbucks or aroma like we normally would 
because we couldn't cheat THAT much in one night, obviously. 

so D was like.. "want to go to target?"
OH.MY.SOUL. 
YES. 
i didn't want to suggest that incase she was like no, why am i even friends with this weirdo. who goes to target for fun. 
but i should've known. 
because we are soul mates. 

so to target we went. 
such a good night. 

okay so i cheated on 7 and i ate some delicious food. 
i enjoyed it very much. 
knowing this would (probably) be the only time i cheat this month. 


i mean, yesterday i made brownies for girlfriends and DIDN'T EVEN EAT ANY. 
ALTHOUGH I WANTED TO WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING. 

so, i'm really disciplined. 
rolls eyes here. 

i also have texas sheet cake waiting for me in my freezer because 
thursday nights we have IF:study and the girls bring amazing food and I HAVE TO EAT EGGS AND AVOCADOS INSTEAD. 

in all honesty this month has already been so good for us.
(ethan and i)

we now see how much we spend on food out that is just convenient. 
how lazy we are with eating nutritious food and just try to snack or eat junk to fill us up. 
and then we're still hungry all the time. and losing money. 

it has made things easier because i only have 7 foods to worry about. 
and when i crave the other foods CHOCOLATE that are not on my list CHOCOLATE
i pray for the empty bellies around the world. and i beg God to make me more like Him. 

i feel excited to have more discipline in my life and i ache for the rest of the months that are coming because i know they will do such a work in my character. 
i'm eager. 

i savored the moments i ate that chicken pot pie. 
dublin's is the best so it was worth it to make that our cheat place for the month. 
i'm thankful for such a friendship with danielle that we can have a date night just the two of us and talk about the tough things and the glorious things and
the beauty of the cross. 

i'm blessed have this chick in my life that loves Jesus with a passion that is so true and beautiful to witness. she's my crying friend. i adore that about her. 
she cannot talk about Jesus without crying. 
as it should be. 
she is so passionate it just comes out of her fingertips and her eyes and her
every . single . decision. 

it is good to have her in my life as a reminder of how i'm supposed to live. 

so she let me cheat and i let her cheat a little bit, too. 
because good friends are always a little bit of good mixed with a little bit of bad influence in our lives. right?
and it was planned BEFORE we committed to 7 & whole30.
and that makes it OK. 
i feel like shouting like ross "WE WERE ON A BREAK"
so, there! 
wink face. fist bump. 

tags: friends, also friends quote, fasting, whole30, imperfections
categories: fasting, 7, imperfections, friendship
Sunday 04.12.15
Posted by bethany burt
Comments: 2
 

7 || month one : food || less of me and my junk & more of You and Your Kingdom.

i was so hungry  last night. 

i made it through the day pretty well. 
i ate  all my 7 foods like ten times over. 

i'm an eater, people. 

this is coming at a perfect time in my life. 
i have been feeling the insane grip of the selfish monster that is my heart. 

so when some girlfriends started a group to do this together, i wanted IN. 

i decided to go with jen's prayer (jen hatmaker. the author of 7 and many other fantastic books). 
as i was up late last night, starving (dramatic), and on my knees trying to decide what my prayer for these next 7 months would be, i just felt that i'd stick with jen's prayer. because it's simple. 
and lovely. and pure. and i was too selfish even in my prayer because i already decided i don't want to do this. which is exactly why i need to. 

so, the prayer. 
Jesus, let there be less of me and my junk and more of You and Your Kingdom. 

so, we begin. 

if you don't understand whats going on go to www.jenhatmaker.com or google "7" and read more about it there. it's basically choosing 7 areas of excess and fasting from them for 7 months. 
and you can follow along here as i blog my personal experience. 

the first month is food. 

my foods are : 
chicken
eggs
avocado
potatoes 
spinach
cheese
apples 

i usually only like eggs fried with cheese and mayo. and bacon. 
and i don't really LOVE spinach.. unless it's just added to a sandwich.
but i love chicken. OK. i can do this. 
i like guac. but not plain avocados. OK. i can't do this. 
i love potatoes. 
but as i was about to bake one for supper last night i realized i can't cover it in butter and 
salt and pepper and sour cream and all the deliciousness. SO I CAN'T DO THIS. 
i love cheese. 
i love apples. 
help me, Jesus. 

breakfast is probably going to be the easiest. 
scrambled eggs with cheese and spinach. 
EASY. 

snack time yesterday was grand. 
i actually didn't hate the avocado. 
i did put salt on it. 
jen allows salt and pepper. and olive oil. bless her. 
i'm saying coconut oil is okay too because i mostly use that and not olive oil. 

so my snack was avocado, cheese and apples. 
OK. 
not bad. 
good actually. 

also, i love my little blue snack plates from big lots. 
and those tiny forks from ikea just make me swoon. 
ethan laughs at me but i do find joy in tiny forks. 

also, i did some prep which made me so excited. 
except when i found out ethan thought that was one helping. for him. 
cute. 

i cut up some apples and avocados, and one whole cheese block and put them in tupperware. 
i also made chicken breasts in the oven while i worked so that would be prepared. 
then i cubed them and also put them in tupperware. 
i thought, this will be great. we can snack a bit and then have potatoes for supper. 

then i remembered my husband eats. a lot. 
so he thought it was his lunch. 
oh, my darling. 
i was away at a meeting and he texted me thanks so so much for the food. it was a really good lunch! and i'm thinking... hmm.. he didn't.. did he think that was all just his? 
he did. 
oy vey. 

oh yeah, ethan is doing 7 with me because he is a very kind husband and realizes that i would have to punch his lights out and be a horrible woman to live with for an entire month if he was eating grilled cheeseburgers with bacon and chipotle mayo when i had to eat boiled eggs. 
bless his little heart. 
I LOVE 'EM. 

so now i think i'll have to prepare just a little bit more at a time. 
okay, that'll be fine! 
i just need to find some time.

so far, i think this food month will be the hardest for me. 
i am very excited about it. 
and i am praying hard. 

i am extremely selfish with food and beverages. 
and i always have been. 
that is the american way, after all, eh? 

i eat what i want. when i want. 
i don't limit myself to a certain amount of coffee or hot beverages a day.
i do not drink soda because it is just poison. but i do dream about it. 

i also eat as many sweets as i want. 
i have zero self control. 
i don't practice any will power or discipline. 
and until i turned 25, that was all working out just fine for my little frame. 

but now is a different story. 
it is true. it does happen to even the skinniest of us. 
it's age. and that darn metabolism.
he's like, i'm over it. get fat. i work too hard. i'm done. 
and i don't blame him. 

i have really not been happy with my weight
which of course i'm never allowed to talk about because i'm skinny. ish. 
but there it is. 

skinny girls got problems too. 
amiright?!

for a long time i blamed my pain and not being able to work out. 
and that is a legit thing. but i still can do some things to help my body out. 
i mean, brownies and chocolates and cakes and eating
out ten times a month just doesn't help anyone out.  

it really is up to me. 
i have to make the decision. 
i decided i don't want to be fat. 
so i need to take the necessary steps to make sure that doesn't happen. 

this is mostly why i'm so excited food is the first month of 7. 
also, we only have one wedding this month so secretly i am really excited to not have a huge traveling + wedding month when it's the food month. 

so, late last night. 
i was reading in bed. and i was so hungry. 

just pathetic. 
i had potatoes like two hours ago. 
and i should just lay down and go to sleep.
i was dreading thinking that i would have to go eat a hard boiled egg before bed 
just so i'm not hungry. gross. 

so i prayed instead. 
and then ate the last of the chicken bites. 

i just prayed about how weak i am. 
and how great God is. 
and how bellies are not full tonight as people sleep. 
and i'm complaining because i could really go for some brownies and ice cream while i relax in my giant, comfy bed. 

it is really good to admit things about yourself. 
and not hide them away or watch TV so you can just not think. 
i did that for about 15 years. 
i'm done. 
i'm ready for the hard truth. 
i'm going to face it head on and then conquer it. 
with God's grace and love. 
it is so good to see really who i am. 
even when that is just so ugly. 

because Jesus loves me there, too. 
he meets me where i am. 
and he loves him gently. 
firmly as well, as he tells me to embrace the suffering. 
he will show me how when i come along with him. 

i have spent several months just living my life, being selfish but loving Jesus 
and just being that normal Christian. blah blah blah. 
wanting things. 
justifying purchases. 
wanting more things. 
being mad that i need more money to do more work and better Kingdom stuff and 
i need a new house and i need someone to understand.
and WHAT.?
NO.
ENOUGH. 

i'm so ready for the next 7 months of WEIRD. 
just take it all, strip me down to the bare minimum. or the bare 7. 
(which is still so so much more than a lot of people have)
see how much greed and selfishness is revealed. 
rid myself of me, and fill back up with Jesus. 
it's a crazy process. 
crazy is how i grow. i like crazy. 
i understand crazy. i understand dramatic. 
i love challenging changes. 
& painful growth. 
i am moved by life-upside-down-simple-living. 
i want more of that in my life. 

ethan thinks avocados taste like soap. 
i agree with him. 

 

 

tags: simple living, seven, jen hatmaker, loveburtliving, change, spiritual growth
categories: fasting, 7
Tuesday 04.07.15
Posted by bethany burt