big decisions

so there's this issue this house, see.

it is the home my husband grew up in.
it's owner (his father, my father in love) does not live there as his job requires travel.
but he pays the bills. and it looks like the house will be around for another 2 years before selling or what-have-you could take place.
we lived there for over a year and then moved out into this house exactly 6 months ago.
i was a new wife, i needed ("needed") a new home, a fresh start to be a home maker and yada yada. i was miserable at pops' house for that year and a half. i was terrible in spirit and i was so mean to my husband the whole time. we had our good times of course but wow, looking back, there's just no way i was fun to be around. i HATED being in that house. and i let everyone know just how i felt about it. it's the house handsome husband lived in since he was a baby and i had a very hard time living there and "making it our own"
i struggled the entire time. i thought i had gotten better and maybe sometimes i was okay with it but over all i was just nasty and wanted out so badly. we had many an argument in that house, about that house.
FINALLY (i'm ridiculously dramatic) (always) we found a place to rent that was just perfect. so lovely. adorable and with the sweetest landlord/lady couple. three bedrooms two bathrooms. HUGE kitchen and washer dryer. oh i was just in love. the one bathroom has a large garden tub which is super fun for bubble baths. we have been living here for 6 months and God has been working on our hearts. mostly mine. cause it needs it the most out of the two of us. we have so much. God has not only blessed us with the perfect spouse, but has blessed us with food, shelter, a job for the mister, the list goes on and on.
the kind of lifestyle we are desiring is one where we have very little. where we are living uncomfortably because we are giving so much and are serving so much to bring glory to His Kingdom. we are way too comfortable. one of my favorite quotes talks about if we are living comfortably in this world then we are not doing the job God wants us to do! how true is that. many times "Christians" are living so comfortably in this world. when given the chance to be saved and go with Jesus.. how many will turn Him down because they are wanting more what they have here on earth. where have i heard that story before..

so. i am pleased to say we are moving back home. always while we're here, our temporary home. thank God.
we are getting so excited. what i once hated and wished would just burn down so i could be happy (laughable) is now where i am desiring to be. i am so excited to go back and be there. be uncomfortable. have people over to tell me what i could do to fix the house up and make it not look so.. terrible. (i have really nice friends and family) (have you picked up on my sarcasm yet?) no not all are bad. but some. and most. because they are just doing what this world does. we take something and stay there for a while and need to "spruce" it up. and then 6 months later when you're tired of that shade of green or those throw pillows, it's time to spend more money on things that will only leave you more empty. it's crazy sad but we all do it. i do. i feel that if i could just paint this or if i could just move the desk here or the bed there then it would look perfect. for what purpose??

one day He's coming - oh glorious day. glorious day indeed!

anyways. i need to not write a post when i'm exhausted and covered in pain from the long day.

moral of the story is: i am so thankful i have been seeking Christ more to enter my heart and make my faults more clearly known to me so that i am correct them and work on the next fault. and the next fault.
for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts are higher than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9