fat man feet roofers, contentment, friends, blessings, gracious Savior :: personal ramblings

friends!
today has been something else.

it started with not being okay because there were thousands of men stomping around on my roof with their fat man feet. okay maybe not thousands but, like, at least 5.
our roof is getting fixed-obviously-and that's a loud process. i need my rest, people.
i'm recovering from eating junk and needed to sleep in today. but i was up at 8 with the feet stompers and couldn't get back to sleep.

so i got up, made coffee and left for book club.
we're reading a joyce meyer book. about forgiveness.
i need to ask those men to forgive me for telling them i hated them as i left the house this morn. ooops.

we talked about being content. and i discovered that most of the time when i say i'm content, i'm lying.
not intentionally but really i'm fooling myself because i still say things like "i want a house" "i want new clothes" "i need new clothes" and blah blah "if only" junk. that means that my heart is not content.
paul tells us that if we are not content, we don't truly have Christ in our hearts.

that.was.profound.

i desire to be content. truly content in all the happenings throughout my life. and i'm not because i'm finding myself wanting and anxious and worried and consumed with things and this world. so, i'm not content and that means i don't have Christ in my heart. it's what i want but when i decide to care about those other things i'm not demonstrating that i want Christ.

my prayer all the way home today was to be so full of Christ that there is no room for anything else to get in. when i'm wanting a house, i need to stop, and be content. be Christ-centered and Christ-filled. when i want new clothes because i'm bored with the millions of things i already have, i'm not showing others that i'm content and joyful for what i have and what i've been blessed with. when i'm filled with Christ, all the things of the earth grow dim and i don't even care about them.

pretty much i'm just sick of myself. bleck. my fleshy ways suck and this isn't working.
so i'm seeking. i'm searching and opening my Bible again to the Word that saves.

i had a great afternoon. i got to hang out with my really sweet friend. she's got the coolest style and is such a rockin' mama. she's sweet and joyful. caring and selfless. beautiful and strong. very bold but also adorable. welcoming and smart. encouraging and i want to be just like her.

coming home to husband was really wonderful. i was thanking God on the way home for another day with him. another day to be his wife and to be breathing and on this earth for whatever purpose He has for us. i can't imagine losing him or even dying myself. he really lives everyday knowing that it very well could be our last. he's the strongest person i know and i love his ability to endure such pain and tribulation. i'm so glad he gave his heart to Christ and is leading our household.

mac n cheese with hot dogs for dinner. and i just realized while typing this that we had the same thing with friends last night. i suck at wife duties this week. big time.
he's gaming and i'm blogging and half working. i took a PM tonight so i hopefully can sleep through the roofers big feet in the morn.
i'm photographing some doctors tomorrow. i'm so grateful for this fun opportunity. plus i get to see a friend.

my weeks are quickly filling up with friends now. i'm really enjoying this!

our house is really cold. like mega cold.
i wear husband's socks and pants plus a sweatshirt to bed. and it's only september.
my heart is heavy for those who do not have housing or blankets or beds or running water.
for those babies that aren't being cared for and are lonely and wondering what they've done wrong.
i long to hold them and share the news of Jesus our Savior. He is our warmth. the sweetest, coziest blanket.