this is where i share my whole soul. i write about my struggles. my joys. my amazing life with my handsome husband. our photography company. our cat. wedding seasons. our travels. community. beer and coffee dates. probably lots about pizza, too. i believe that life is worth living. and sharing my story connects me to beautiful souls. i feel like i grow into a better human when i write and read stories. we all have something amazing to share with the world. this is my life in pink. 

hi, 2013! :: excitement for the new year

okay,  i don't think i've ever made a new years resolution. true story. 
i've heard people do them and break them and i just know myself too well.. i know i'd fail, so i don't think i've ever made them. 
also, i think it's important to do these things at random times of the year, not just in this big bang of the new year and then let it fizzle out. 
but, this year, i'm excited! i'm feeling new, fresh and ready. 
this is our first full year of owning our own businesses and getting a home of our own. 
it feels like the first 2 years together we've just been having fun and being silly. which is awesome but silly doesn't buy you a house or grow savings to raise a family or have an emergency fund. 
we're keeping the silly, just adding the grown up stuff, too. 

so here is my list : 

2013 new years resolutions(ssssssssssssss) 

keep the business organized. hardcore
       both for myself and ethan 
super excited about the new organizing-offices-fun-stuff we got a walmart. i love the smell of office supplies. i love post-its and pens. oh i love pens. files and note pads. a new pretty calendar to keep all our appointments nice and neatly. i'm a nerd and i'm okay with it. 

buy less make up     and wear less make up... 
you're welcome, husband. 

don't buy anything for myself unless it second hand. (except undergarments - i have that luxury. makes me so thankful)

buy our first home 

remember that while our hearts are already in our new town and home that we still have a community here that needs Jesus. so to show them Jesus while we make the transition to our new town. 

be generous with our money. 
we feel so blessed. even though we are saving up for a new house at the same time of getting ourselves out of debt, i don't want to skimp being able to go out to eat with friends or do something fun with them because of money. we will be smart and say no to certain things of course, but not being skimpy. money isn't everything and in fact, it's quite ugly. 

to book 20 weddings. yeah, i won't even talk about my nerves about this one. 
in 2012 we booked 12. i'd like to book at least 20 every year from here on out. 

drink more coffee. not because i don't drink enough, but because i'd actually be impressed a person could consume even more than i did in 2012. 

be more thankful for my husband. 
something i started in october was to write on an index card reasons why i'm thankful for him that evening and then start my mornings off by reading them. i already fail. lately it's been like once a week or not at all. i like to think that i just naturally think the best of him at all times and it's an always our life kinda thing but then i find myself getting annoyed or sharp-toned with him and then i'm like "oh yeah, you ungrateful wench. be thankful for this stud". then the days i remember, i just gush over him and find myself swooning, then look out, cause it's all over and he's mine. :)  it's a really good thing for me/us so i'd like to continue it for probably forever. 
also, don't tell them you're doing this. don't do it to say hey look what i'm doing i'm saying you did a good job being a spouse today. that's not what it's for! do it for your heart. so that your heart learns to truly stay focused on the good. i want ethan to dwell on the goodness, not my ugly weakness and sinful tendencies. it can be difficult because you'll want to shout "YOU KNOW, YOU WERE A JERK AND I'M STILL HERE BEING THANKFUL THAT YOU CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL AND DID THE DISHES. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THAT I'M BEING THANKFUL EVEN THOUGH I COULD BITE YOUR HEAD OFF FOR THAT JERK-THING YOU DID!" not that i ever have this problem.  (teehee)

read the Bible more. 
i have this problem of reading what others write about life and love and Jesus and things instead of getting it straight from the Good Book. it's really annoying. i annoy myself. 
i know all of the answers are right there and yet i'm too stupid and lazy and sinful to just read it. 

obeying Jesus. 

cooking more good foods for us. 
our diet change is absolutely the reason i am doing so well these days. i have about one migraine a month and that is a HUGE stinking deal. i had my one migraine just two days ago and i'm still so shocked that i'm not still down. my life used to be so different, i can't even go into it because it's so full of pain it rips my heart out and makes me depressed. i'm so thankful that because ethan thought to change the way we eat, i'm better. and getting better. i just don't like the taste of nasty vegetables. i wish it was just that they tasted bad but i could still get them down, but my body has this fun little game where it likes to gag uncontrollably until i have 6 pack abs and my throat is completely raw. oh that stomach feeling is no good. so, i need to learn new recipes or get a dehydrator so i can make our own capsules.  something. sheesh. 

fellowship with wives. 
i want more Bible study with Godly women. learning how to be what God created us to be and love our husbands. 

learn more about homeschooling. 

learn about how we'd like to discipline our kids. yes, kids that we don't have. 

listen to more and more music! 

watch more fun movies with ethan. 

pay closer attention to his needs. 
and buy him a few wants as a gift to him. 
he will never buy anything for himself. we don't gift each other for birthdays or anniversary or christmas. and we love it this way. he's so concerned with me all the time that i never even really get as close to him as i'd like. so i'd like to pay more attention and really get some great books that he would so benefit from that are on his amazon wish list. :) 

do NOT cut my hair. or complain about it's slow growing rate. sheesh. 

be confident in the decisions we make for our family. no matter who disagrees or dislikes our plan. 

share my heart and struggles with these women i've grown so close to over the last few months. 
and ask them to trust me with theirs. 
to point them to Jesus, always and to not give in to the ways of this world.  

memorize a Bible verse to focus on for the whole year. 
like a Bible verse theme for the year. i like that. 

love people who are hard to love. 

putting some distance between me and some toxic people in my life and nurture friendships that encourage my walk with Christ. 

drop a tv show or habit that is not God-honoring. 

let ethan have his way more. 
he LOVES to attack me with love in public and i get all squirmy about it. i feel bad for others around who might not want to see that or think it's gross or disrespectful. 
he's SO all over me and it's his way. i love it but have a hard time not pushing him away or stopping him short because i'm a prude. so, i'd like to embrace his crazy hugs/dances/kisses and just be in the moment with him. 
those are the things i will miss most when he's gone, but i'm missing them now because i suck. 

do some things out of my comfort zone. ^^^^^^^^

have some awkward moments with friends. usually that's when the most growing takes place. 

learn something new about photography/post-processing every week. 

get more involved with our church body. 

see my college roommate at least once this year! 

learn more about natural remedies to things. 
hopefully be completely off of any medications by the end of the year and use only fully plant-based medicine. 

to be bold and brave for Christ. 


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