a brand new wardrobe :: the wife life

put on a new wardrobe. 
of kindness. 
of compassion. 
of forgiveness. 
your skin will glow and your eyes sparkle. 


this from my latest favorite read, about marriage. (Linda Dillow)

what i enjoy most is being ethan's wife. 
i really love my job and work as a photographer and i really have fun being around other women in fellowship and laughter, but my very favorite thing of all is learning how to be a Godly wife to my husband. 

i fail daily. but it's so fun learning and God (and thankfully my husband) is so gracious. 
and patient with me.

a few things that are on my  heart and my list lately : 

*wearing a heart of forgiveness 
 - having a forgiving attitude towards my husband will soften my heart and prepare us for when he really needs forgiveness. 
"forgive quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you." (Eph.4:32 paraphrased) 


*no grude holding
-"Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change, and when we are right, make us easy to live with" Peter Marshall 
when i am hurt, i want to hurt him right back.
sometimes it can feel good to hold a grude but all it does is open up space for Satan to come in and play around in my marriage. and he is so not welcome here! 
search my own heart and ask God to make it clear where i have been wrong and apologize. 
let go of that grude and let God heal those wounds!

*new mercies each day
-we are granted new mercies each morning! (Lam.3:22-23) and, they never come to an end!
what a blessing and an absolutely amazing thought. 
i will grant my husband new mercies each morning. 

*wearing kindness
-seek what it means to wear kindness in my marriage. 
speak only of love and kindess about my husband to others. 
do what will be encouraging to him as a man, husband, worker, son, brother, friend, etc. 
remove my selfish feelings and react in kind ways. 

*wearing compassion
-recognize ethan's sufferings and take action to help. 
throughout the day,  think about him. 
how is he feeling? what is he going through? how may i be there to help in and be a Godly influence to him? is he stressed? does he need food or water? what does he need from me? 

*releasing my husband of my expectations. 
this one is huge and i've actually been working on this one since right after we got married and lived in our little apartment.   (just about 3 years ago) 
being fully satisfied in Christ takes away any expectation i have of ethan. 
expecting a date night.  - bad
expecting him to have the laundry done. - bad
expecting him to know my thoughts and do everything i want him to do. - bad? um. yeah. haha. bad. 
when i expected so much of him, we had toooo many openings for arguments. 
i was expecting, he didn't pull through. he's wrong, i'm right. let's have it out. -bad. 
being fully taken care of by Jesus and having a heart so full you just want to love on and have zero expectations of your man. good. gooooood. good :) 
it didn't start out so easy. 
it was easier and more fun to get angry with him about the whole leaving his socks everywhere thing. i now fully understand people using the term 
"were you raised in a barn?!?!" 
i had no idea how he could be so cute and so messy at the same time. 
dang that used to get me so instantly mad. 
blood boiling mad. 
over socks?  yes. or so i thought. 
really it was over where my heart was. and how i needed healing. 

one thing that helped - some very good friends of mine are a military couple. 
she is the strongest wife i know. her husband is gone at least 7 months out of the year. 
let's take a moment to seriously cry about that. 
okay, now, i share in life with her while he's gone (and while he's home! yay!)
 i am just so unable to complain about a dirty sock or not done laundry ever again. 
my husband is here! every day. 
dirty socks allllll over the house now make me smile. 
:) really! 
i remember after that really sunk in for the first time, i was doing laundry and crying my heart out, tears streaming down my face:
"how happy am i, to fold this man's underwear!"
and no, i'm not kidding. 
it was really a total God moment. my heart was moved, 
i left the room and was just in a state of praise and worship. 
about underwear. God works in funny, awesome ways.
afterwords i looked around and was thankful no one was in my house watching me. 
what my friend wouldn't give to have her husband, stinky clothes and all, to be home, 
in their bed with her. 
i'll take stinky socks. 
bless their beautiful hearts. 

the other thing that helps - Jesus. yes, that sweet voice and sometimes annoying "Sunday school answer" but it's true! Jesus fills those gaps now. and my heart is so full. 


that's all for this morning. 
man, heavy stuff. 
enjoy today's new mercies and give thanks to the Father! 
amen.