I randomly found this note I had written around our 1 year wedding anniversary.
We just got home from a great night at our marriage group, a group of married friends from our church, all seeking Christ as their center and sharing in life together.
It's a fun group and was just interesting timing that
I happened across this old note tonight.
I had this feeling today that I need to write our lives out a bit more then I do.
Sure, I take a ton of photos every.single.day. *thank you Instagram* but I don't write as much as I should. Probably because I'm a terrible writer. But I think it's important.
I'd love to read about our life when we're older. And to show our kids.
So here are my thoughts on my marriage 2 years ago :
Well, I've been married for one year (and 11 days!) I think I know enough about marriage in one year to let people know what it’s like...... ? :)
Marriage (from a woman's (and obviously my personal) viewpoint) - No matter how much you love your adorable husband, he smells like a gym sock. He just does. He writes you poems and is insanely in love with you. When you first wake up and your hair looks like an actual tornado touched down on the tip of your head, you've got goose poop in your eyes and of course you have total donkey breath, he is AMAZED that you could look so beautiful. You think he's handsome always, especially cute while he sleeps, but really hate the breath part that he seems to overlook so easily. He loves to impress you with fancy dates and tons of laughter. He loves your reaction to things. He cannot get enough of that huge smile he fell in love with. You love when you make him laugh. It is the best feeling in the world to know he is your husband, and he loves Christ. He loves to watch you read, work hard at something and learn something new. He loves to hear you tell him (and go on and on and on) about your day. He forgets to take the trash out and you have to light an extra amount of candles because your kitchen smells like dead animals. You love when you get in an argument and he leaves the room for a minute, leaving you in shock, just to see him the next minute bringing the Bible into the room to get us back on the right track. You know he will be a great dad. He lets you wear his shirts to bed. He likes to wear your tee-shirt as an undershirt but forgets which ones are on the "DO NOT WEAR - THESE ARE MY FAVORITE AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO STINK THEM UP" list and wears them anyways as you smile at him and think "what a fool". He tells you when you're falling away from what's really important. He tells you daily “you're better when you're walking with Christ”. He's the only one who knows how to work the grill and makes killer cheeseburgers and brats but is impressed with everything you cook/bake. He prefers you to go without make up but knows you rarely will. He is the funniest person you know. He still gives you butterflies when he gives you the “smolder”. He knows you cannot meet all of his needs and you know he will never be able to meet yours. That's what's awesome about marriage. It's not just a party of two. It's an awesome party of three, number One being the most awesome and most important, and that One blesses the party of two. That's why they have the "perfect marriage". They are not looking for satisfaction in each other, or themselves. They have just figured out what life is really about. They know that "23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,24 and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" Romans 3:23-24
We, are sinners, we are fallen. We cannot fulfill each other or ourselves. Life isn't about a college degree, how big your house is, how many houses you own, what your job is or what your job sounds like to others so you can seem like you're a big shot and you've got things "figured out". Life isn’t about impressing others, it’s about loving others and sharing Christ Jesus with them so we can bring glory to God and enjoy in the life He meant for us.
Marriage definitely is NOT how you FEEL!! When you say your vows, you have committed not only to the handsome gent holding your hands and putting rings on your finger, but more importantly to God. It is because of Him that we even have marriage. In marriage you will have bumps, sad times, awesome times, jam-hands times, boring times, scary times, and many years of raising kids and having the entire world against you and your bond with your spouse. It is easy to give up, it is easy to be emotional and say “what do I really want”, but it is the choice you made before God to stay committed to this person, through it all until DEATH. It stopped being about what you want the day you said “I do”. It is what you decided and you have to cling to God’s Word and His promise every day or else your marriage will fail. Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”
I’m not saying I have it all figured out and that my marriage is a walk in the park. Many people say after just one year or marriage “of course you’re still on cloud nine”, or “it’s a cake walk for the first few years”... or my favorite - “JUST WAIT!”. I’m also not saying that if you’re divorced that you’re doomed for Hell. Each one of us is a sinner no matter what those sins are. We each as individuals have to speak to God about our faults and ask for forgiveness and he washes us clean as snow. He always forgives, no matter how big or small a sin, no matter how far away from God you think you are, and is always, aways waiting for us with open arms.
After one year of marriage, Ethan and I have experienced only two deaths in the family. Ethan has experienced much more heartache than that before meeting me, but these are my first deaths of people that are really close to me and we know it’s only the beginning. We struggle daily with our own sins and we struggle with selfishness in our marriage. We argue and we hurt each other’s feelings. We love each other, but we have a love for God that is even bigger than the love we have for one another. We know all things are from Him, and we thank Him daily for whatever comes our way. We know that His plan is much greater than anything we could ever imagine and we don’t try (E doesn’t, I have a harder time with this one) to make plans for ourselves.
Best marriage advice ever? - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
Mark 10:9 What God has joined together, let no man separate.