oh, marriage. || the wife life || love burt living

just recently i was introduced to a group as the newlywed. 
but, really, am i a newly wed anymore?
how long is a couple newly wed?
1 year?
5 years?

we don't have kids yet, and we're young so we're the newlyweds?
or, "it just seems like you two still are newlyweds since you like each other so much"
well, we do. 
and i'm glad you can see that. 
we're almost 4 years in. are we still newly weds?

i like the term "forever honeymooners" 
my cute married friends on IG call themselves that. 

 are you a forever honeymooner or have you given up? 

let's talk about marriage. 
you know how much i love it. 
you talk about the things you're passionate about, right?

i so love being married to ethan burt. 

guys, 
he's the best. 
i'm pretty sure it's weird how much we like each other. 
but that makes me so sad, we're the weird ones... for still liking each other so much..

i want everyone to enjoy their spouses THAT MUCH. 

let's thank God for our marriages. 
he created it. and he wants it to be oh, so good. 

let's be good to our spouses. 
let's remember why we love them instead of focusing 
on the things that annoy the crap out of us about them. 

and pray that they choose to do the same! 
you may not believe it but i can be pretty annoying around the burt house. ;) 
thank goodness he doesn't choose to focus on those things!

let's use sweet words that build each other up. 

let's be thankful that they're here another day to leave their socks in the wrong location or have a different opinion of how the towels should be folded. 
it's alright. they are just towels.
forget about the dishes for another night and just make out. 

let's truly be in the moment. 

let's be real with each other. 
don't go a day with out talking. really talking. 
and really listening. 
and grow. grow towards Christ. 
don't sit still. 
you will miss out on so much. 

and please don't tell me that it's easy for us because we don't have snot nose kids running around ruining our lives yet. (<< ?! another problem entirely which i'll be happy to talk about when we are blessed with babies) 

we make it a priority to not allow our marriage to crumble. 
it's a daily choice, friends. 

be INTENTIONAL 

a very good friend of mine who is also my mentor, a wonderful Godly wife and mother taught me what it's like to be intentional.

she has done this in the way she lives her life. i've been blessed with the opportunity to watch her as a wife and to watch her as a mother. i'm forever changed because God put them in our lives to mentor us. i know how important it is now because i have my own marriage.

get lost in his kiss. 
smell his hair. 
memorize his face.
enjoy his eyes. 
delight in his laughter. 

be carefree and light-hearted. 

that, does not come naturally to me. 

i'm what you call a super uptight and apparently high maintenance chick. ;)

i've asked before "really.. am i uptight? i just don't know if i'm like, that uptight"
(praise the Lord for a patient husband)

so for the sake of this blog post i just looked up the definition.. 
uptight: anxious or angry in a tense and overly controlled way.

it may as well have my picture next to it. 
Lord Jesus, help me. 

 how is my husband supposed to be so happy to see me or plan a wonderful date night getaway just for me when i'm freaking out and stressing him out about how the house looks or the millions of emails and wedding contracts that need to be dealt with?
and don't get me started on the dishes and piles of paper everywhere. 
how do we get so much paper. everywhere. ?! 
who's bringing the papers here? 
why do they even exist? 
why do i hate paper so much?   
oy vey. 
like, i wouldn't want to hang out with me. 

i can look at our days and think back on where my heart was during that day. 
and i can tell you it was a bad day when my heart wasn't right. 
i'd wonder why we fought so much or why i just thought he was such an annoyance and everything he did would make me crazy. 

and then i'd remember that i was being a selfish jerk. 
like, why do i think it's all about me?
selfish. 
jerk. 
for real. 

i was not in a joyful mood. and i wasn't doing things with a cheerful heart.

i'm reminded that God wants to use me for good while i'm here.
and one way he uses me is in my marriage. 

there is nothing better than when ethan is laughing up a storm and his eyes are smiling so big he has many eye/face wrinkles. that's literally the best. 

i want more of that. i want to take part in making him that happy. 

when i'm able to be carefree and thankful, he's able to be boyish and playful. 
he just thrives. he feels energized and he gets things done. 
he feels loved. 
he feels like he's on top of the world. 
i'm respecting him by remembering to love him well. and in a way that he can respond to.
he's always attentive but he's even more sweet and concerning about what needs i have. 
and then he really wants to date me. 
and he is the best date-planner-guy-ever. 

we have to be very aware of how our words and our actions affect our men. 

it's a true joy to be a wife. 
it's an honor and a gift. 
we need to do our best. 

it's what we promised, isn't it?
remember the vows you made?
go back through them together and ask each other how you can do those better. 
and be ready for the answer. 
it's most certainly not always pretty. but the truth is awesome. 

my wedding day was a blur. 
i clearly remember ethan's face, perfectly remember his face actually but everything else was a blur until we were out of there and on our way home together. 
but there were vows. we said them. and they are important. 
no matter how many years pass. 
or how much hurt has happened since that day. 
start choosing to make it better. 

when we fix our eyes and our hearts on the things that are good and pleasing to God, we are able to enjoy the blessing of each day instead of worry about 
things that don't actually matter. 

i am so thankful to be in this marriage. 

that day in june 
walking into that gorgeous little chapel to my sweet groom
i had no idea just how sweet it was going to be.