a servant heart || coffee & thoughts


today i want to talk about being a servant in marriage. 

i wish to serve my husband and serve him well. 

ethan and i love marriage. 
so so much. 
could you tell? 

we just take it very seriously. 
and we want to serve each other. 

marriage is to lose your life for the other. 

for even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve
and to give his life as a ransom for many. 
mark 10:45 esv

you shouldn't serve if your heart isn't in it. 
if you serve and you're being a pill about it, it will show. 
you will grow bitter when your person doesn't tell you thank you or you're really awesome for remembering to fill the ice cube trays. 

you will fill the ice trays and then hold it against them when they don't acknowledge you for doing so. that's not being done with servant heart, that's being done with the selfish heart, with the desire to be told you're awesome. 
you're doing it for you. 
not them. 

selfishness leads to loneliness. 
and bitterness. 

but when both of you are learning and growing together, it turns into a beautiful thing. 

in our house we are learning to serve and appreciate each other. 

 i just realized that i've been very inward during the 8 weeks of my bible study. 
i think it was a good and needed time. 
but i was in the kitchen a few weeks ago, still during my study, 
and realized that we never seem to get ahead with the ice cube trays. 

ethan loves ice ice, baby. 
he must have more ice than the glass can hold.

we only have 3 ice cube trays. 
& i like'a'de ice, too. 

so, someone's got to be filling these babies up. 

there's a bucket for the ice but we always just fill the ice tray, wait, use, leave, forget, need ice, UGH, fill tray, wait, use, repeat. 

i just had this amazing moment of "a-ha!" 
and finally started this system of filling the trays, filling the bucket, IMMEDIATELY filling the trays again so they can freeze.
now we almost always have a full bucket plus three ready frozen trays.  
i know, crazy system. 
your mind is blown. 

it's just the littlest thing. 
fill the ice tray. 
fill the bucket. 
repeat. 
you have ice!

it's repetitious. 
it's annoying. 
like, why can't our freezer learn to make it's own ice for us!?
and, why don't we just buy 19 ice trays so we don't have this problem. 

but, really, it's just, don't be a lazy wife and just remember to keep them full. 

i did this quietly. 
i just started it. 
and each time i would fill the ice trays, it would bring be joy because i know how much my husband loves to have ice in his glass. 

i didn't do it for him to appreciate me. 
i really did it because i just knew he would like some ice to be ready. 

i'd been doing it for a few weeks and ethan's appreciation grew. 

just like i out of no where started the ice routine,
he just out of no where was all crazy about me and my ice tray filling abilities. 

 it's an extremely small way to serve my husband.
but it's a huge thing for him. 
he's so thankful and loves me a little louder. 

it's sexy to serve your spouse. 
i promise. 

i've been seeking ways to serve him. 
what this means to me is really just to know him. 
know his ways. 
know what he likes. 
what he dislikes.
get things ready for him. 
or remove things he dislikes for him.
know and anticipate his needs. 
i do this because i love him. 
i do this because i want to have a servant heart. 

i want to learn to put his needs above my needs. 
and to not catch myself feeling like i deserve this because i'm awesome. 
or i need that because i've doing servant things and should be appreciated. 
it's all because i want my heart to be transformed to be more like Jesus. 
and my marriage benefits. 

i've been soul searching and digging deep in myself during my awesome bible study, 
but i realize now that i needed to be remembering my husband, too. 
he hasn't complained. 
and he's encouraged me and helped me through my entire bible study process. 

but i am so giddy and just excited now, wanting to get to know my husband again.

my marriage is so important to me. 
my husband is so important to me. 

i want to be a wife that blesses her husband. 
this husband that i've been so blessed with.