learning to serve, to love & to be thankful always || love burt living || fall 2014



oh, husband. 
i grow more and more fond of you by the day. 



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being a wife is so important to me. 
i've always wanted to be a wife. 
but not just a wife, a wife who grows and serves and truly cherishes her husband. 

i want my husband to know he is loved and cherished. 

when we were first married i just did this in the ways i knew how. 
which basically is loving the way i'd like to be loved. 

it wasn't like ethan hated that but it was becoming clear that he didn't respond the way i wanted him to. because it just wasn't how he needed to be loved.

oh, i thought i was so cute. 
i'd leave him little notes and think, gosh, he's so going to just melt. 

 i would find them later that morning. in the trash! 
what! i thought he loved me. 

it took a while for me to understand he just doesn't need a cute little note. 
he doesn't hate them or burn them up or anything. 
he just doesn't really care about little notes like i would. 
he sees it, smirks and likes it, then throws it away. 

of course i thought he'd make a secret box and keep them forever and then show our kids one day. and now i'm laughing at myself. 

that's what i would do. 
that's what i am doing. 
so if i do something cutesy and i want our kids to see it, i need to grab it before trash day. ;) 

anyways, i share that because it was so good for me when i realized that i need to learn to speak his language. it's so great when you learn communication with your spouse. 
communication is so huge. 
i would burst out and cry and be angry and he'd be all, it's just a note. maybe we could get over it? maybe, just maybe, i have a tendency to overreact. 

thankfully, he's kind and patient with me and willing to communicate. 
he told me he just doesn't really get much out of a little note. 
he loves me, and he loves what i write, but he's not filled with the burning desire so make a scrapbook out of my notes. 

now, remembering to refill the ice trays. 
or doing the silverware dishes that he hates. 
making his favorite meal. 
knowing where his movie references are from. 
taking time off to just be all his. 
not talking about business after 9pm. 
boom, baby. 
totally responds to that! 

serving my husband is something i love to do. 
i longed to do while i was growing up. 
i can remember talking to God as a younger girl and i'd dream up with him what marriage would be like, and i'd just ask him for a handsome irish husband. 
i had no idea i'd really love the beard. but i'm thankful he threw that in, too. 
i'm thankful he really gave me the desires of my heart. 
he was so good to allow me sweet ethan for my life. 

becoming a servant for your spouse isn't some terrible, disgusting thing. 
i'm actually rolling my eyes and heartbroken at the same time because it's so sad to me that today we just want to take and take and think we deserve and we forget about serving others with a cheerful heart. 

and then wonder why we're so miserable. 

i promise you if you're feeling like you're having a terrible day, think about someone else. 

serve someone up a big slice of love, and you'll feel better, too. 
it just truly works. 
and helps you get over yourself. 

not that your problems aren't important or real, they most certainly are. 
but we sometimes get so self absorbed that we forget about other humans. 
and they're more important than your messed up starbucks order. 
they just really are. 


i serve my husband because i desire to do so. 
i serve to show appreciation to him. 
i serve because Jesus tells me to and he holds everything in his hands and if he says so, i will. and my marriage and others will benefit because of it. 
it's just truth. 

i serve because i want to be an example to our babies one day. 
i want to teach them to love and to love well. and to put others first. 

and i want them to see how desperately i love their papa.

marriage is good. 
it's rich and full of color. 

fall is the perfect time to reflect and start anew. 
as the trees are dying off for winter, we enjoy the changing colors and the sweet smelling air. we too, can prepare our hearts for whatever is going on in our lives right now. 
we can breathe the crisp air and be motivated to get through the day. 

and we can choose to be thankful. 

even in the midst of sorrow or pain or just seemingly endless awfulness. 

Christ is real and his love is for you. 
he died once and for all, so we can live eternal life.  
when you know this, and fully live this, life is so much more full. 
and death is so much more beautiful.