paul & julia || ethan & bethany || obey God || eat good food || photograph all the pretties.





last night we watched julie & julia. 

i have been trying to decide for a while if it can make my top 10 list. 
i decided last night, it does. 

it's just, so good. 

ethan asked if i like it so much because i am exactly julia child. 
what!? 
shucks. 

and then my heart melted. 
because he's also paul. 
but with hair. 
and height. 

i don't care that it's a movie. 
i have done zero research on them to know how much of it is factual. 
it makes my heart so happy to see the love between j & p. 
(meryl and stanley are fantastic together. ugh. the acting! c'est magnifique!)
 i teared up several times. 
and loved it. 

and of course, i love julia's personality. 
apparently you like people who are like you? 
i was all, i seriously love, well, meryl  (we're on a first name basis) playing julia child. 
and that's when ethan told me it's because i am her. 
so i love myself? 

i guess i do. ;) 

that's ok right! we should love who we are. 
my giving key is giving me all sorts of courage. 
and i like it. 

 of course i can't just watch a movie and then be done with it. 
it makes my brain race. 
i dream of living in paris, duh. 
i dream of all the bread and cheese. 
and coffee. 
i dream that i'm a fabulous french cook. 
always wearing a hat. 
and hosting parties on the rooftop as the twinkle lights dance in the night breeze.
and love with ethan. in paris. i mean. come ON people. 

 then i go to bed and read my christine caine. undaunted. 
and i'm like okay, i have to save children and teach the world about Jesus. 
there's not enough TIME. 
why aren't i moving faster. 
getting there sooner. 
doing more for the lost and defeated. 

she's so fearless and incredible.
 she's an amazing writer and speaker. 
SUCH A POWERFUL SPEAKER. 
and she's CUTE.

ps. she's at IF : gathering. so come to that on feb 6&7. 
just a little by the way..  
shameless plug.

i'm always somewhere between selling everything i have and doing something amazing for the kingdom. and staying home in my leggings and fuzzy socks, taking photographs of our coffee. 

and i'm realizing that i think that's okay. 

God created me to be this little crazy girl who loves photographs of coffee. 
YES OF COFFEE. 

or dates with ethan. 
or sweaters. 
especially lovely pale flowers in an antique vase. 

i just see something and want to use what i have around me to make it into something wonderful. it never leaves me. 
i don't even always take the photo. i just set it up in my brain. 

& i have a heart for children. and women. like, new wives. 
i'm trying to narrow down what MY thing will be. how I will be the one to somehow change the world because i have this great vision from God about one certain thing. 
but i don't have that right now. 
like chris caine is clearly doing what God has asked her to do. because of her story. and her past. He's made her the perfect person to save these young girls and kids. 

i don't have just that one thing yet. 
i have a broken heart for a lot of things, which i think we're supposed to have. 

i am tired of all the broken homes and the terrible parents and the really really sad truth of how long it takes to adopt a kid. 
the foster system needs help. there are workers that are in love with their jobs believe it or not, but they need help with better foster homes. 

kids need FOOD. 
actual food. 
not junk. 
like they need actual nutrition. 

my heart hurts about what our world actually thinks is food these days. 
it makes me sick and very angry. 
how can we let this be? 
how can intelligent people actually be so stupid about what they feed themselves?
and their children. 

i'm tired of women being ridiculous. 
just.because.we.can. 
come on, ladies! 
get over ourselves. 
it sounds mean but i mean it with love! ha! 
if you can believe that. 
i'm fighting the same fight. 
we need better mentors. 
stronger believers. 
wise hearts. 
to pave the way for the young women. 

yet,  i'm not doing anything about it. .. yet.  

ethan and i dream up a lot of crazy ideas. 
we want to buy all the buildings and create programs and save the world. 
educate children, mothers, all people about food and living and Jesus. 

but right now we are placed in what sometimes feels like stuck. 

we have this glorious job together. 
we kinda adore each other so it works out nicely to be around each other all the time. 

we travel. 
and meet people. 
and take their photos. 

it seems simple but i know, i know it's much more than that. 

when a new couple plants a tree with the soil from their homes to make a new life together, starting in the ground, rooted in love, and i take that photo. or ethan takes that photo, 
that's it. 

some people don't get it. 
and that's okay. 
God gets it. 
and we get it. 

it's not about us taking the photo. 
it's not about us being these awesome photographers. 
it's about what God has blessed us with and that we're saying YES. 
to obey what He has for us. 
and for now, 
that's coffee & pizza meetings with brand new couples about to become husband and wife.
and i can't think of a better place to be. 

it's thrilling. 
it's special work. 
i'm blessed to do it. 

ethan and i are so incredibly thankful that God has placed us together in this marriage. 
for this life. 
for others to see. 

we choose to be open and honest about this real life marriage stuff. 
and we hope to share that with our couples. 

my favorite thing is knowing these people for more than just the wedding day. 
we've been there. 
they haven't yet. 
they have no idea what marriage is about to be. 
and that gives me such a hopeful feeling. 

the wedding day is all about the beauty. 
the celebration. 
and it truly truly is! and we love every second of it all! 

but what comes next is what makes our hearts sing. 
marriage. 
lifetime. 
love. 
God centered. 
unconditional. 
heartache. 
struggle. 
laughs. 
burnt meals. 
tears. 
more laughs. 
prayer. 

it is beauty. 
it is part of our story. 

maybe one day i will save the world and feed all the children. 

for now, 
i'll continue to take silly photographs of my feet & coffee. 
and hope they bring joy to just one someone.