i've always been a little bit different.
you know, kind of just, off.
it's fun that the things that i used to think were so nuts about
me are my husband's favorite qualities.
like, he is constantly laughing at me and then telling me he loves me.
as he shakes his head and can't actually believe that a human could be so weird.
someone asked me if i was going to an ugly sweater party.
because of the sweater i was wearing.
i was not going to an ugly sweater party.
it was just a regular monday.
i definitely have some adhd.
i have major difficulty multitasking although i really like to pretend that i can. with ease.
my brain is in constant motion.
and it's extremely fun being a business owner.
it's also incredibly difficult.
the list just never ends.
which is wonderful and challenging.
is it OK to take the night off?
watch a movie?
make supper for my family and maybe do a load of laundry?
i shouldn't eat popcorn and enjoy a day out because i have people waiting on photos.
i shouldn't post a photo of my coffee and feet and devotional because i need to be working.
can i even take a shower today?
no, i just have too much work to do.
this is what goes through the mind of this creative.
it's weird to have your work in your home.
i actually like always having work to do.
it's fun. and keeps me on my toes.
but i need balance.
which i have tattooed on my neck.
it's not working.
i need something more than a tattoo reminder, apparently.
i will be making changes in the new year which i'm really excited about.
for starters, trying to be less of a maniac during busy season.
less checking of the phone all hours of the night.
more quality time with family and friends and new relationships.
better time management.
i haven't even ever been late on a deadline, and i still stress the whole way through.
it's just no good.
this business is a good thing.
and our clients are amazingly wonderful.
and it's a gift from God that we are even able to do this as a career.
i hate that i ruin it at times with my stress and worries and fears.
it makes sense that i'm a business owner.
i would drive any employer up the wall.
i'm thankful for a husband who pushes me.
and believes in me when i don't believe in myself.
he's the one that told me we'd own a business (or two or three) and i'd be a photographer.
i told him he was crazy.
but was also so excited about the idea of it all.
as we'd dream up plans in our bed just a few years ago.
and now here we are!
it's so enjoyable.
it's hard work.
it's beautiful work.
i enjoy creating.
i enjoy sometimes not putting on pants and still getting work done.
i enjoy thinking of new ways to work smoother and make new systems.
i'm learning that all the things that made me "weird" growing up, are the things that make me so awesome now. and modest ;)
weird is the new cool.
i hope to have really weird kids.
i remember being a weird kid.
and i really like the adult i'm becoming.
we all have these qualities about us that make us so unique.
i want everyone to embrace their "weird" and just have fun!
why do we always just try to grow up?
why can't we still keep the child like ways about us? is that all bad?
you know the whole, get a big girl job and be responsible.
well, i am a big girl. and i make real money and pay real bills.
but i'm gunna be weird and dress like a 7 year old.