week one ... || the no make up series || brave. bold. naked faces.
make up fast week one.
let's hear from the girls.
As far as putting no makeup on goes, this week started out great and slowly became a struggle for me. I had no problem not wearing it to class or to small group because I was interacting with people I know personally who know about the fast. What was really difficult to get through was my impromptu birthday dinner and the IF gathering. For my dinner, I felt like everyone else looked so pretty while I looked sick! I didn't expect the IF gathering to be hard, but when I got there my friend Brittany had me sit at her table. This meant sitting with people I had never met before with NO MAKEUP ON. While I did enjoy those first two sessions and the conversations associated with it, I couldn't help but feel ugly during it. I was worried they thought I thought I looked good without makeup or maybe thought I looked sick. I know that sounds silly, but those thoughts were so real and weighed me down.Im frustrated to say the next day I put makeup on. I did, and I didn't worry about those things the whole day. When I got home that night, I seriously cried out to God, because I felt like I once again let something that wasn't Him rule over my life again. Instantly, I felt His grace and love wrap around me. He had given me so much strength for this week, and I am not giving up!
HOW ARE YOU FEELING THIS WEEK.. OKAY HOW ARE YOU REALLY FEELING
....at first I felt a little hurt that no one noticed that I wasn't wearing makeup, which is the opposite of how I probably should have felt. But in the end, I realized that the make up didn't matter.
HOW IS YOUR HEART CHANGING. OR IS YOUR HEART CHANGING
....I'm seeing myself in a different light. I'm focusing on the natural me. I haven't been one to care what people think of me for awhile now, but how they judge my appearance is a different story. That's why it freaks me out to try something new with my clothes, hair, or makeup. BUT...on Wednesday, I wore an outfit that was something I had been wanting to try (and why not do that when you're going to be surrounded by people you don't know, am I right?!)!
GIVE US A FUNNY EXPERIENCE FROM YOUR WEEK
....I'm was driving to work after dropping off the babies at daycare and just reached in my purse and grabbed chapstick and it wasn't until after I put it on that I realized it was my glittery lip gloss. I thought, no one's going to know. And then it turned into, I know! I wiped it off and grabbed my actual chapstick and my heart felt better.
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST PUT MAKE UP ON
...actually, I thought that part would be harder, but I didn't grab for it. I was out of town Wed-Fri for work and didn't pack my make up, which made it easy to not reach for it. But...confession...I did curl my eyelashes (not sure if that's approved or not?!). My eyelashes are light and not curled it's as though mine are short or nonexistent.
WHAT MAKE UP DO YOU MISS THE MOST THIS WEEK. AND WHY
....mascara and eyelash curler...explained earlier, I feel like my eyes disappear without them being curled and mascara-ed up
Hey, there...Colie, again from colie + the mister. So, first things first...how am I feeling after going one week without make-up? I feel okay. There were days that I did awesome and didn't really think much of it. However, I had moments I felt so self-conscious about not having anything to "hide my face", that I could have just crawled in a hole and not come out for another 5 weeks or so.
Second, how has my heart changed this week? I honestly don't know if my heart has changed much at all this first week. I had so much going on at times that it helped me from constantly feeling insecure without my make-up the majority of the time. I did appreciate so many women telling me that I have VERY clear skin. It wasn't anything I ever really thought about, but just hearing that was so encouraging.
There weren't really any funny experiences from this past week. However, several girls, after telling them about the make-up fast, asked, "You really aren't wearing any make-up?" They had not even realized it, which I suppose is a good thing! ;)
Surprisingly, I did not accidentally try to put on make-up this week. However, there were those few times, when I looked in the mirror, that I wanted to ... ON PURPOSE!!!
Lastly, the make-up I miss the most this week (as it will probably be every week) is my concealer! Oh, honey...how I miss it! I have an olive skin tone and clear skin, but under my eyes it is a nightmare. It looks like I haven't slept in ages. They are so dark, it is frightening!! What a joy it will be when we meet again!! :)
So, one week down and only another month or so to go...I can do this!! (Right?)
Hope you all have a lovely week!
Until next time, my friends.
make up fast.
this week has flown by.
i feel like i have so much time in the morning. even just having the extra five to ten minutes i used to use doing my make up before makes me feel like i have 20-30 extra minutes. now i get to sleep in :)
i only wanted to put on make up once this week. gotta hate those darn planet pimples that come out of nowhere. yuck. but i looked myself in the mirror.
told myself i am me, and there is nothing wrong with that.
ive been really sick this week. like mono sick. so im going to be honest, make up has not been my first priority. i finally feel better today after being sick for the past month.
even though make up wasn't on my mind much this week (i never want to look pretty when i feel bad), being able to wake up in the morning next to my husband and be so natural, and cuddly, and snuggly, and happy, its so beautiful. i feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. today, he told me i was so beautiful and looked straight in my eyes, clear into my soul. goosebumps. bliss. love. happy. all the happy.
i also took time for myself this week.
since you have to rest while you have mono.
i painted my nails.
i wrote wedding thank you notes and drank hot tea.
i snuggled with my husband and my fur babies.
i worshiped God through song. hillsong united. love that christian band.
and i watched disney movies.
pretty nice week for having mono, id say.
im a painter. so yesterday, i painted.
it's a passion.
im currently painting images of women showing body image and the effect it has or can have. yesterday i painted a woman who is turned away from the audience. she has her hands resting above her head.
she looks so strong. you can tell how confident she is.
thats how im starting to feel.
in my own skin.
with my husband.
in front of people i know.
in front of friends.
in front of strangers.
it feels good.
Fresh Face Forty: Week 1:
Days 1 and 2 were easy, I mean ridiculously easy. Sunday and Monday just passed with flying colors, I was hanging with the family, surrounded by my comfort people and in full mom zone. I thought, hey, this is going to be easy stuff.
Then Day 3 came along. Little day 3 with all the "you're going to work" reality. This is my space that I feel I need my makeup. I get up and really really get ready. I shed the mom and put on the professional. I hadn't realized how much of that shift in personas went along with the makeup I apply until little day 3. I did my hair, put on the professional clothes, and then boom, had this feeling of incompleteness. But, I gave myself a long looking at in the mirror and said to myself " YOU can DO THIS!" several times on repeat and off I went. The day was going extremely smoothly, no one even seemed to notice the difference. Not sure how i felt about that, is this a good thing, a troubling thing? I am not sure how I feel on that just yet....
But, once I was in the work groove I forgot about what was or in this case wasnt going on on my face and moved through my day. UNTIL, this is a big huge UNTIL...... I had an important meeting, a with the big bosses kind of meeting, I was prepared, feeling good about things, UNTIL i remembered I had NO makeup on. The change in my overall feelings about the meeting was instantaneous! I got nervous, and kinda sweaty in my palms and started thinking, maybe i am not as ready for this as I thought. These two minutes of self doubt because I was going to sit in a meeting without makeup on brought me up short, very very short. Seriously, WHAT in the WORLD?!?!?! What I have to offer in a meeting and professionally with my brain and how I express myself should have nothing to do with what Ive got on my face! I got pretty mad at myself, how dare I think that my makeup or lack thereof has ANYTHING to do with my ability to be a professional woman with intelligent great things to offer in a meeting. Honestly you all, I was SHOCKED at myself. Shocked at these moments of self doubt over something that appears to be so surface. SO, I took a few moments and got still. I let my thoughts be still, I let my thoughts and doubts and words flow to God. I had a midday heart to heart with him at the center. I took this time to remind myself "It's okay to feel that this is hard. BUT I CAN DO hard things. I will step outside of me and my perception of the shell and I will go in there with heart and mind and self fully in confident place. After my little pep talk with the big man I went in and honestly felt like I kicked booty in that meeting. I didnt think about my naked face more than a couple times and realized I dont need that cover to be a fully confident professional woman! YAY challenge one faced and overcome. Bring on the rest of the week!
Days 4-7: After my Day 3, meeting with God and pow wow with myself, I am in a REALLY REALLY good place with all of this and all of me. I woke up Wednesday and was just ready. Ready to greet my work day as me, just me! NO more pep talks needed. I had that much needed reality check and came out of it stronger and more confident. Honest to goodness, I am shocked I needed that at all, much less on day 3! But, I am THANKFUL for those moments of raw reality and self consciousness, for in them and through them I found important moments to talk with God and find out that my outside shell is beautiful as is and I can radiate my internal me just fine without ANY layers. And more than can, I SHOULD AND I WILL radiate the natural inner me, right on through the natural outer me. What is portrayed through the outside is a direct reflection of who I am on the inside. I WILL show off my brains, and my heart, and my soul with light, laughter, smiles, love, and intelligence. I AM that package all on my own, and I it is worth sharing with the world.
This week, I've had so many mixed emotions. I wake up and look in the mirror and think "I need makeup. I look so awful." Then I think "who am I trying to impress? I need to stop caring." But that doesn't always work..
I've been wondering if this was the best time to do this or the very worst. I'm lost. Like, really lost. I feel like I'm beyond forgiveness and redemption, even though I know the truth. I stopped listening to my christian music because I didn't want to feel what it makes me feel. How can I learn to love what God gave me when I'm spending all my time wrestling with Him?
One of my biggest flaws is that I validate my self worth by the attention I get from others (especially men), and it's really stupid. Saturday night was the first night I've ever gone out dancing without makeup on...and I. was. terrified. But when I got there and started dancing, I realized I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care if people even saw me because I was doing what I loved. I want that to be everyday life. I want to be living for God and loving every second to the point where I don't even notice what people think or say about me. And also give them fewer reasons to say negative things about me. I want to love myself and be confident...but I am so not there. I want to be found again. I want to find myself in Christ, natural beauty and all. I'm struggling, but I'm not giving up.
Sorry, ladies. My heart has been heavy this week.
this week i've been stupid sick. i missed the if gathering and i had to get over that. so that took up most of my time. my no make up face this week is a sassy one. i've been incredibly busy and behind in all areas of life. don't look at my laundry pile. let's not talk about work, either. i can't remember the last time i showered. and i have twine in all the places. preparing for if filled my heart with joy and my body with pain. my body hates me and attacks at the most wonderful times. (the sarcasm).
when i get to a point with my pain that's so so high like this week, i just don't have any more room to care. that country song that i hate bc i really hate country music always comes in my head. the "my give a damn's busted". yes, it's busted.
i miss mascara. i just think it does a lot of good for a girl to have the lashes full of dark glam mascara. it's how we flutter and flirt. it's how we show the dudes (or just the one dude, like my husband that i love to give the eyes to) that we're goo-goo for them. and pretty. although i'm more like lucille ball in "yours mine and ours" and the flirting doesn't really work for this goofy mess of a girl. but the false lashes aren't needed. i have long lashes. and have always loved that. i layer my mascara. i have two brands i always use. and i curl between coats. and after. and later that day. i love my eye lash curler.
i have really enjoyed my skin change over the couple of years that my face has been free of make up. i just don't like the pimples that still happen because of stress and probably chocolate.
i realized this week that i always always always use a filter. or edit. or whatever. i just love the vsco app. and i love the b&w edit options they have. i always tweak and don't just use the preset. i posted both so you can just see what i do. like, it's the same photo. but why do i feel better, more covered or presentable with the b&w edit than the original? so i see that.
even with out the make up. i still tweak the color contrast or lighting or temperature of the image. is that the photographer in me? aiming to use the best light, best angle, best color, etc. or is that the self-conscious girl who feels she needs to fix. we probably know the answer.
the cool thing is that i still feel beautiful. because i'm over what i look like. (i still struggle here)
it's taken a long time and 1.5 make up fasts to get here. but i just am loving the focus being off the make up, and on the heart. it really causes some deep growth. and we're seeing that in these girls' weekly shares. i'm so amazed at their journeys and it's only week one!
these girls inspire me to be real. and raw. and not scared.
they're doing it! i can do it, too! power, baby.