it's a weird rainy kind of day.
the weird rainy kind of day that makes you want to stay in bed.
but once you're actually up, you're like yeah! this day rocks and i'm going to own it.
it's like a happy french kind of rain.
like it's supposed to be rainy.
it's romantic and grey.
it's sweet smelling with the promise of springtime.
and my office is a coffee shoppe.
i pick out my favorite table.
with the gorgeous bow tie details.
i set all my stuff up just so.
my notebook and a reading book.
my latte. vanilla today.
and of course, a blueberry muffin.
and i get to work.
it's really fun being in real, grown-up clothes today.
out in public, and being a boss.
i had a meeting.
and now i have one hour before book club and an if: table meeting.
then i will have to be home to edit, edit, edit.
working for myself is great.
except for when my boss is being a real b*%ch.
see, i'm my boss and i'm my employee.
and lately, they haven't been getting along.
my boss has ridiculously high expectations and is unrealistic and mean.
and my employee is lazy and just wants to forget about work.
and not wear pants.
it's really difficult to balance my life.
i'm a people pleaser.
and an over-committer.
i say yes to everything.
and then struggle to do any of that, well.
thankfully, not in my actual picture/editing work.
and i'm really proud of that.
i just struggle in my personal life.
because i want to do it all.
then i'm a disappointment.
so this year i am trying to be more realistic.
my boss is trying to relax a bit, thankfully.
she's a real maniac. and doesn't know how to schedule or time manage.
and my employee is trying to put on big girl pants, and pants at all, and do the hard work.
i love hard work.
i really do.
but i also need a break. actual productive time off.
as in taking the time off and enjoying the time to the fullest.
instead of forcing time off but carrying around the weight of my work and stress and failings around with me
the entire time.
it's also hard to do a job that others don't take seriously.
"don't you just have a camera and have fun all the time"
well. kind of. and also, no. not at all.
i've always waited for the approval of others, or certain people i thought for some reason were like the people who could determine if my work or life was successful or correct.
but i'm three years in.
and this is it.
i am a business owner.
i am a girl boss.
and so far, i'm actually pretty good at it.
i do know that i need my husband and our tax lady (bless her soul)
and my business advisor (which is also my husband)
but other than that, i'm running this thing.
and i'm kind of winning.
it's extremely fun.
it's all creative and all exactly what i love to do.
and for the hard business stuff that no one wants or likes to do, i have help.
i'm extremely thankful.
and i know how blessed i am to do this as a career.
i'm thankful for that night four years ago when ethan told me that i can do this.
that we can do this.
and he felt convicted to buy me a camera.
god can lead you to business own.
he can lead a silly girl with a camera who has no idea what she's doing.
he can bless you with legal people who are brilliant who can make sure you're doing well.
he can lead your husband to quit his job and pursue this full time together, even when it's terribly
scary to be the man and provider and not know when or if the money is coming in.
and it's incredibly awesome to be a girl boss.
i am free to schedule my work week as i need and as i see fit.
we work almost all weekends, too.
and i realize after two years that i haven't actually scheduled work.
like everyone else has work days, and time off days, or make up days or overtime days.
so i am going to girl boss my life and get things in better balance.
i also know god has blessed me with this full time because he has other work for me to do.
that includes if : danville.
and if : tables.
and empowering women.
and buying them coffee and listening to their hearts.
and loving their children.
and feeding the hungry.
and helping the homeless.
but in order to be available. truly available, i have to balance and schedule better.
so that my boss can relax and my employee is happy to work hard when it's work time.
here's to business owning year three.
let's be awesome.
and get sh*t done.